26 Year Old Disabled Man Seeks Grant Money To Avert Homelessness
(Vernon, Indiana, USA)
I'm 26-year-old single male with no kids. I'm looking for a government grant or any kind of help to restore my life.
I wish I could do more things in life but I can't. I've got too many things wrong with my mind.
I can't hold relationships, which is why I don't have my own family. I just like to be by myself most of the time. I feel a lot better and safer that way.
Anxiety is just one disability I got. It causes me to fear a lot of things. I don't like being around a crowd of people. It makes me fell like passing out. I feel weird so I leave.
Now it's got me feeling like that when I'm around a person constantly. I got to get away from them or it will happen.
My body aches, my body temperature increases and decreases, my skin burns and I get a buzzing sensation with chest pain and tightness.
I find it hard to talk, and I can't relax. I feel wrong and strange, like I'm getting sick with the flu, and much more.
Depression is another disability I have. I feel worthless and guilty of something almost every day. I can't concentrate, and I have thoughts of death and suicide over and over again.
I feel hopeless, can't sleep well and can't concentrate. Stuff I used to do was easy now is hard to do for me. I can't control my negative thoughts. I try and it doesn't work.
My last disability is Schizophrenia. My psychologists diagnosed me with this because I see and hear stuff when I talk or try to listen.
Because of this people have to speak up so I can hear them. Then when I see stuff I really just get away from everybody because I'm not right in my mind.
I have no place I can call home. I stay sometimes with my dad or mom or cousin when I can.
It's just a matter of time before I'm back on the streets again like I was before.
I can't live with my dad cause he's got kids to take care of and he can't take care of me.
Neither can my mom. My name is not on her lease at her apartment so I can't live there. I just hide like I don't stay here but I do.
If the landlord found out she would get kicked out along with my 3 sisters.
I sure wish I could work. I want that more than anything in this world, but it's just not going to happen for me. I've got way too much loose stuff in my mind and its not going away.
I have no transport. I'm by myself when it comes to that, which isn't bad in the town I stay in because everything's real close together and not that far apart.
I don't take medications, because I can't afford them. SSI feels like I'm not lawfully disabled to get SSI. I wish that was that case but my actions show and tell everything.
I don't attempt any jobs. I can't do them so that's out of the question, full-time or part-time. I don't work at home, because I don't have a place I can call home.
SSI acts like I don't deserve it.
I'm trying to do get some government grant type of help.
Donations would be good. In fact I wish I could donate something so I could help people like me who get put down and overlooked by people like the government and rich people.
I'd like a grant to help me find an apartment, pay for my medication and other needs. It would be a blessing to help ease my pain and suffering a little.
It would be nice to get SSI. It would really be helpful. There should be more programs for people like me.
SSI should not be the only one that's not right for people like me who really do need support and get the door shut on them like they aren't worth it.
Stuff like that is why people kill themselves. When people say nothing can get that bad, it sounds to me like you haven't hit your breaking point.
When you've really run out of options, sometimes the only thing that makes sense is suicide.
I can't pay for an SSI lawyer. I don't need any advice. What I need in life now is someone or something to help me.
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