28 Year Old Bipolar Sara Seeks Government Grant Money For Sake Of Kids
(Baltimore, Maryland, USA)
My name is Sara, I am 28 years of age and hoping to marry the father of my three children, once we can afford a marriage certificate.
I did apply to enroll in the Army Reserves and took and passed the test, but I did not become an actual member because of my mental disabilities, though one day when my children are older and more independent I think I will go further with the Army.
I was adopted from El Salvador when I was one year old. My birth mother was shot and killed. I never quite got along with my adoptive parents.
I was diagnosed with depression at age 9, and bipolar disorder at age 12. I was placed in a live in detention center called Good Shepherd Center from 1996 until 2001, where I graduated and nuns looked after me.
I still struggle with bipolar disorder. I have challenged myself to overcome my depression, but I still encounter bipolar activity in the form of mood swings and it affects my social life.
It has been hard for me to maintain a job with my low self esteem, and I prefer to be around my children every second. I feel very afraid to leave them so I don't.
I try to offer to do things for free for people such as cleaning to make up for not working but this does not pay.
My adopted parents stopped having contact with me while I was in Good Shepherd so I rely on the government to assist me.
I receive $654 monthly from Social Security and I am grateful for it.
I had to stop seeing my therapist because I could no longer afford the cost of transportation and I dearly miss her; she was like a mother to me.
My disability has improved with my children and their dad who make me feel quite happy and loved.
I have two children who are my entire world. Though I was taking preventive measures, I recently found out I am pregnant again.
Their father works but the money is not much. We are hoping to apply for a marriage certificate but do not even have the money for that.
All of our money goes to our rent, BGE, food and diaper money. I don't mind being poor but it is when I see my three year old peering out of the window at the cars going by that I feel ashamed of myself.
I don't have money for a car or to take her out for a day.
I want with all my heart to put my children in private school. That, and wanting to afford a car is why I am requesting a grant.
I have no money besides my social security income because I cannot handle a job. I am scared to leave my house because I have social disorders and bipolar.
I just want to be able to buy my children some toys to make them feel a bit happier. They are good children, very loving to me and I am ashamed of my disorders because I am unable to provide much for them.
Food is hard for us to afford and I often post on Craig's List to see if anyone can help us with food, so toys are hardly attainable.
We receive a food card, which allows us food but runs short before the month is through because it is not much.
We live on a floor above a business and it is so small it's unreal, but I never meet the income requirements for a larger place and I have been on the section 8 list for 6 years now with no letters of update or success.
There are times when I cry so much but I do not want to hurt myself anymore, I have learned to appreciate my life more despite my financial crisis.
I have had jobs in the past, which is hell for me to try, and maintain. I understand this is my fault and I wish I could manage to be around people more.
But people see me as energetic and then very quiet and depressed. I don't attempt suicide anymore because I have to remain alive for my children.
I have tried, but I cannot function around a lot of people.
I would be open to doing any home-based employment the government would like me to do. I am unable to find a legit at-home job. I offer to trade the few items in my home for food almost every month.
I don't have any needs except those of my children. I am grateful to receive SSI and I would like to have a large family and not many people are accepting of that since I have limited income.
But the truth is, my children make me feel so welcome and loved that I just want money for reasons like putting them in private school, getting married, owning a car and clothes and food for my children in the upcoming years.
I would like to adopt children also but don't know how I can afford to at the moment.
I would like to run a free daycare because I see how hard it is for some families who work much harder than I to afford childcare.
I love kids and wouldn't mind watching other's children, but I can't afford to open a daycare on my own.
I would still probably have to ask for donations because of my limited income but I would still like to help others who can't afford childcare.
I figure since I stay at home and play and teach my children, what's so hard about doing the same with other's children? But I live on a floor above a business and definitely don't have the room.
I am hoping to better myself and rid myself of these disabilities, by appreciating life and its joys more and finding home based employment to afford more for my children.
Until then I will most definitely pray for a blessing, or a helping hand.