Header for Ability Mission

33 Year Old Abused Disabled Single Mom Seeks Financial And Moral Support

by Christy Dawn Ingram
(Southaven, MS, USA)

I am a 33-year-old single mother of three ADHD children. I suffer from bipolar, OCD, and post-traumatic stress disorders, as well as severe anxiety, and seizures.

I was married in 1998 to a very abusive husband. Thanks to him I had my nose broken several times, which has caused me breathing problems and now it just looks horrible and I'm very insecure about my looks now.

I finally was able to get away from him and started over with nothing but the clothes on my back and a few things for my children to wear. I met someone new and finally had my life on track.

I was a successful store manager and thanks to God and a lot of therapy to help with all the mental damage he caused me I was able to finally be happy and healthy.

I thought my life was great, but that's when it all fell apart. Five years after leaving my husband, my new boyfriend started to abuse me. He was even worse to me than my husband.

Thanks to him I got a lot of my teeth knocked out and damaged. Then on Mother's Day he got extremely upset with me because I spent the whole day with my mom.

When I got home that evening he had all the kids sign my card and as soon as he handed it to me he smacked me as hard as he could right in front of my kids.

I tried to leave then and go to my mom's. He pushed me down the stairs and broke my ankle. He would not take me to the hospital.

I sat at the house, which was way out in the country with an ankle that was broken in two places for over a week.

When my family started asking questions he got scared and took me and dropped me off in front of the hospital and left.

My mother let me and the kids stay with her until I was healed and back on my feet, but the damage was done. Because I didn't get to the hospital sooner my ankle will never be the same again.

I suffer a lot of pain and the trauma caused me to have a mental breakdown. I had worked so hard to put my life back together and now I was right back where I started, but much worse.

I used to be very outgoing and not afraid of anything, but now I have panic attacks just going in a store. I lost my job that I had worked so hard for.

I started as a cashier for the company and within two years I had my own store that was brand new. I loved my job. Now I'm on SSI and I can barely pay my bills.

My ex-boyfriend messed the only car I had and I couldn't get it fixed because I just can't afford it.

I can't get a loan cause my credit is bad and when I was living with my boyfriend I paid all the bills on time every month, but they we're in his name, so his credit looks good.

I cannot even get to my or my kids' doctor appointments. I have to beg people for rides and I know they are tired of it.

I cry myself to sleep many nights, because I cannot do anything for my kids right now. I do the best I can do and I show them all the love I have in my heart.

But they deserve to have things and it breaks my heart that I can't give them nice things and I can't take them anywhere.

And if that isn't enough thanks to my boyfriend cracking several of my teeth they developed cavities in my front teeth and I can't afford to get them fixed. They hurt so bad and I hate to smile 'cause I'm afraid someone will see them.

My self-esteem is so low and it is keeping me from picking myself back up and starting over. I lost everything when I left my husband and I lost everything when I left this time and I lost myself.

I want my life back. I want all the damage they did to my body and mind to go away!! I want to be the mother my kids deserve, instead of someone that gets scared just leaving the house.

I get no help from my husband to help with the kids. My family is far away and my mom is ill. I need to get a car and get my teeth fixed so I can get back out in the world without feeling so insecure.

I want to be able to buy nice things for my kids and I want to move out of this crappy house that is falling apart. I just need some help.

The worst part of leaving my ex is that the house we lived in we we're buying it and all the money to get it came out of money that I had saved, but because of my credit it had to be put in his name. So I lost everything.

He won't even give my kids some of their toys or clothes. They had bikes, a trampoline, a swing set, and a pool, all bought by me. Now I can barely put food on the table.

I never thought my life would end up like this. I have always treated everyone with respect and I have never been mean to anyone. I don't know why people want to hurt me so much, but I'm tired of it.

I thank God my children and I just being alive and for giving me the strength to leave and start over with nothing. It's so hard though, and I don't know how much more I can handle.

I'm afraid my children will end up hating me. They don't understand why they had to lose all their stuff not once but twice. I have explained it to them, but I know it hurts them a lot and they really just don't understand.

I have been getting sick a lot lately too, because I have been stressing too much. I have put it in God's hands. I hope he's listening. If anyone can give me some ideas or just some support it would be very appreciated. Thank You and God Bless.

Comments for 33 Year Old Abused Disabled Single Mom Seeks Financial And Moral Support

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Jun 12, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Be strong and do the right thing
by: Anonymous

Honey, I do feel sorry for you. You see, you keep getting into an abusive cycle over and over again. You have to be strong for your children. You don't want your children to see you as a weak mother. You said you worried about bills, nose, teeth, car e.t.c. Forget your nose and teeth and facial stuff. That's not important. What's important is paying your bills. Get the things you need to take care of your kids. If your ex-boyfriends were in the South they would be shot. Nobody deserves to be abused. That's a fact. For your next relationships, you need to do a background check on them. You knew how crazy they were. If you didn't, there are signs that tell you: yelling, atitudes, temper tantrums, and so on. Those are all signs to know if the man is abusive. I've never been beaten, raped, sexually abused or cheated on, thank God. Women like me don't play games with bad drama. If you saw signs like the ones I said, then you ignored it. Part of it is your fault, because after your abusive boyfriend broke your nose and knocked out your teeth, you still stayed. That's dumb as hell. Get a back bone. There's a lot of men that don't hit women and will love you to death. Love doesn't hurt; that's a fact. Be strong. God bless you and your children. :-)

Apr 02, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
How are you?
by: Gabi

I just reread your story. I commented on it two years ago. I was in another car accident that has kept me down for over five months now. But I want you to know I'm still here. Please let me know if you're still in need of moral support and other help. Gabi

Mar 30, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Just Ask!
by: Anonymous

Hi! I can relate to your pain and there are a lot of women out there that have been through it yet are too scared to ask for help!

If you have no reason to hide other than from maybe a abusive ex, and even with bad credit, call your church, talk with your pastor. If you do not go to church, God still loves you, and most will help.

Write to your local radio/TV news station. Some of us do not want everyone to know our business, but sometimes you need to drop your pride for the sake of your children and yourself!

Stress can make you sicker and if you are on any medicine, the stress will not make the medicine work!

Just remember that in order to get help, help yourself first! Just ask. You will be surprise how many people out there would help you.

Write to everyone. Email them. Call your mayor, anyone! Yes we use to have all the programs for us that are on disability, to get the help we need, but with all these programs cut, we are on our own!

For those who think we are looking for a free ride, think whatever, we have these problems. We did not ask for them to happen to us, or to be born with them.

So pick yourself up. Dust off some of the wounds. Others are not so easy to wipe off.

Go out there and start a brand new day, Remember we have only one life, so live it to the fullest! Yes having bad or no teeth is not such a good thing.

But your children love you, and love has no price, so take one step at a time! May God Bless. And just smile with or without teeth!

Feb 19, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Brightest Blessings to you, and more
by: Anonymous

Dear little injured spirit,

I won't even go into the abuse and traumas I've been through. And like you I'm starting over again at almost 47 years old, still raising 8-year-old twins after raising three alone. You might think that if you just had money everything would be okay, but you're wrong. What you need is support. And to raise that self esteem. And there's lots of things we can do about those teeth, once I know what state you live in. I'm an excellent researcher.

And this may sound rough hun, but you also have to stop feeling sorry for yourself, as it was you who got yourself into the messes that got you where you are today. That's one of the main ways you are going to get better and not go back to where you are now? to take responsibility for everything in your world. But that also takes more explaining than can be done here. And I don't mean a room full of people talking about negative things. That should and can come later. You need positive support right now. If you like, you can email me and we can talk. I've had to start over again single with children about oh...... well more times then I can remember, and I've developed some pretty cool strategies for doing so. So if you feel like it, drop me a line.

Oh, and pray, pray, pray, pray. It doesn't matter to who or what, just pray, not for money, or houses or even food or cloths, pray for strength and wisdom. Those two things will get you out of where you are quicker than anything, and better yet, those two things will KEEP you out of those things if you use them every day of your life.

All my love to you pumpkin, you're going to be okay. You have a strong heart, I can feel that in your letter. My email is fairyspiritchild@aol.com if you feel like writing.

Dec 06, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Words of Encouragement
by: Anonymous

I was an abused and battered woman too. My husband threw a boot at me and shattered my nose like glass. I almost bled to death and had lots of reconstructive surgery.

I never thought that I would make it alone with my precious daughter. Put all your faith in God because that's all we have in this life.

I got blessed beyond measure so many times from God's great blessings. Start thanking God for your blessings before they manifest. Believe and you will receive.

The men in your life will answer to the horrible things they have done. Anyone who hurts or causes pain to another person ALWAYS pays for it in the end.

You are still very young, so when you finally get your teeth fixed, things will get much better for you. The good news is that today's dentists can make you look better than ever.

There are places you can go to get beautiful gifts for your children and yourself for Christmas. I don't know where you live, so I can't tell you where to go.

I'll be praying for you and your children. I'll close for now. God bless you and yours, today, tomorrow, and always. Love in Christ.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to US Mississippi.