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45 Year Old Disabled Former RN Seeks Help To Be Closer To Treatment Clinic

by Angela
(Mooresville, NC, USA)

I am a 45-year-old female who has never been married and has no children. My family consists of my mom, dad, brother and sister-in-law.

I worked as a Registered Nurse for 18 years prior to becoming disabled.

I am disabled in a number of ways: major depressive disorder recurrent with psychotic features, anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and, most currently, dissociative identity disorder.

I have struggled with most of these disorders throughout my life since puberty.

I have had 20+ hospitalizations with most of them being since 2007. In 2007 I was in the hospital, on average, every other month due to depression and suicidal ideation.

I attempted suicide on November 14, 2008 by overdosing. I spent a significant amount of time in the ICU and then the psych unit at that time.

I was released from my job at the American Red Cross in January of 2008 which was devastating for me because I had planned on retiring from there.

Looking back I realize that they had no choice because I had missed so many days of work due to depression and hospitalizations.

I found another job several months later but it only lasted for a couple of months. I tried again to work but had the same results.

Finally, I applied for disability and it was granted almost 2 years later. My last day of work was in March of 2009 and I started receiving disability payments in January of 2011.

I still struggle with severe depression, suicidal ideation and often disassociate for long periods of time during which I have no memory of what I did.

I currently live alone. Due to the depression and dissociation I often am unable to safely care for myself.

Since I cannot work I spend most of my time at the psychiatric clinic where I attend classes and groups, see a therapist and a psychiatrist.

However, the clinic is almost 40 minutes from my house. I have difficulty affording to be able to travel back and forth to the clinic.

I would like to relocate to be closer to the clinic and to find a place that I will be living with others and have a more structured environment.

Also, having been an RN I tend to adjust the doses of my medication as I see fit rather than waiting on the doctor to do so.

I really need for someone else to be in charge of my medications for my own safety.

I believe a group home or assisted living facility would greatly benefit me but I can't afford to be in one without some sort of assistance.

I currently receive disability benefits each month and am on Medicaid. My Medicaid will change to Medicare in September of 2011, which means I will be receiving less in my disability check but paying out more for my healthcare.

My church and parents help me out as they can but my parents are retired and my mom is disabled.

My therapist and psychiatrist do not feel that I am capable of holding a job at this time.

I would like to believe that some day I will be able to return to the workforce and become a productive member of society again. I just need help at this time in getting there.

I am searching for any way that I can get my needs for safety and security met.

I know that I need to be in a group home or assisted living facility but because I make too much in disability I do not qualify for Special Assistance, and Medicaid does not help pay for either of these options.

I need to be able to maintain an income of at least $500 a month to pay for my vehicle, insurance and gas to get to my psychiatric appointments.

People seem to think that since I can drive that I don't need to be in a special facility but that just isn't true.

I may be on the high end of the functional side in that one area but definitely not in all areas.

Any and all advice and/or assistance will be openly welcomed and greatly appreciated.

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