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Abuse Disabled Single Mom Of Five Special Needs Children Seeks Disability Grant

by Deborah
(Carlsbad, Texas, USA)

I am 43, abuse disabled and with five special needs children. For 16 years I was married to a controlling and abusive man.

I kept telling myself that soon the abuse would stop but deep down I knew that there was only one way it would stop and that was a road I did not want to be on.

About one year into our marriage is when the abuse started and at first I thought it was my fault. I only found out later it was not my fault; it was his.

He pushed me off of the steps going in our back door and caused me to have a miscarriage.

One year later he set our trailer on fire hoping that our oldest daughter and I were in there. Then he tampered with the Bronco that we had and caused me to have a bad wreck.

Soon after my mother passed away we moved and for about six months everything was okay. Then it started all over again.

In 1992, I started having back and knee problems from the abuse and set myself up for surgery in 1993.

He did not like that so he raped me and I got pregnant with our second child so I could not have the surgery.

Then in 1995, I got pregnant with our third child. About four months after she was born, he started with the abuse again, so we moved again.

I had him arrested and was not able to leave.

So, he got out and everything was fine for about six months. Then it started all over again. Finally the last time that he abused me was the last time.

I was working at a nursing home and did not get home until around 11:00 pm. The next morning I got a phone call from the school and they said that one of the kids had a lot of bruises.

I called CPS and turned him in for abuse. He threatened to kill all of us if I left. But I had to take the chance for the kids.

In a heated argument he told me that he was my biological father. This blew me away. I was adopted and had no knowledge of my biological parents.

Then my oldest son developed chronic ITP and had to have surgery to remove his spleen and no guarantees of that working for long.

Not long after we went to the shelter I met a wonderful man, kind of like a guardian angel. Between him and his sister I now know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not the train.

I now deal the best that I can with five mentally challenged children. They have all been declared disabled through social security, but with the disability income that we bring in they can't get their SSI benefits.

So I had to get other insurance for them. It covers a lot of the expense but not everything. In November they started seeing a gene specialist, and I have to drive about 120 miles one way for the appointment.

It is really hard because I can't get any help for me or my children and I am almost wheelchair bound myself, so getting out is real hard for me.

I have degenerative disc disease, diabetes, bad knees and bad hips. I have a disc protruding into my spine in my thoracic area.

I try to find different charities and organizations to help but either I make too much to qualify or I don't have insurance to cover it.

We have a 3-bedroom and 2-bath trailer house that is 30 years old and it is falling apart.

You can see the ground from in the house in places. I have tried to get another one but my credit is not good enough to get one.

We have no heat for the winter and it is already starting to get cold.

I have talked to a friend down here that said that he would build me one at cost only, but I can't get that.

We own the land and would really like to give my kids a nice warm home to call theirs since that and love is all I have to offer.

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