Accident Disabled Mom Seeks Grant Help With Medically Caused Expenses
(Topeka, Kansas, USA)
My name is Cynthia. I'm 54 years old and accident disabled.
I am single with two daughters: Jessica (still living at home) and Rene (out of the house), and a granddaughter Mariah.
Jesse, the father of my girls, sleeps in the garage per my children's request. He has Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD).
Jessica was on Supplemental Social Security Insurance for a Personality Disorder at 16. When she turned 18 we had to apply again and it is pending, under review. She does not work due to her mental problems.
I am a very independent person. I do not like being on Social Security; I would rather work. I've worked since I was 12.
I became a Licensed Practical Nurse when I was 18.
I went back to school at Topeka Technical College and received a Diploma in Word Processing.
My mother and I got my disability without a lawyer.
I love to be outside and have my family around, and help my children as much as I can. I feel guilty about not feeling good and they suffer for it.
I have rented my home for 23 years. I wish I could have bought a house. I don't need much to make me happy.
I just wish I could have extra money to pay the bills and have a couple of hundred dollars left every month for necessities.
I owe my mom $20,000. She helped us out when I was applying for disability. She has no money and lives on her retirement. I feel guilty that I have only paid her back about $8,000 so far.
I am very easy to please and very thankful for help, like food stamps and Social Rehabilitation Services that pay my Medicare A and B and Plan D.
I am not computer literate. I do not have Facebook all I have is my e-mail. I cannot sit very long at a computer it is too uncomfortable.
In August of 1984 I was with a friend and was going to her parents' farm to meet them and hang out for the day. I worked with her at the hospital.
When we got there, she asked me if I wanted to ride her horse. I said yes even though I don't know how to ride a horse.
The horse did not like me and I jumped off and hit the ground on my side. The ground was hard, as we had not had any rain for a long time.
I did not want to call for a ambulance so we got me in the back of her two-door car. It was extremely painful and embarrassing.
When we got to the hospital, they could not believe we got me in back of car because I broke my pelvis in two places. They called for an ambulance to take me to Topeka, Kansas (I was in another town).
When I was able to eat I started to vomit undigested food. It would just stick in my throat and I would have to vomit. They could not figure out what was wrong and dismissed me.
I made a appointment to see Doctor Robert Ricci (Gastroenterologist). He had to re-admit me to hospital because I was unable to keep fluids or food down.
All the tests he did came back normal. He said that maybe it was in my head, but there was still one more test to run. It was called "Empty Gastric." It came back saying my stomach was hardly functioning.
Even when they gave me a drug called Regulan, which is supposed to make your stomach work, mine did not. He apologized to me for saying it was in my head.
I have known Doctor Ricci for several years and I continue to see him for my Gastroparesis, which is what I have. It is when your stomach does not contract and move the food out of your stomach.
He said that the only people to get it were those with diabetes and I am not diabetic. So he said I must have severed the Vagus nerve, which the stomach needs to work properly.
I have been in and out of the hospital for over 40 times, getting fluids and medications. I have had two J-tubes surgically inserted so I could have nutrients and abdominal hernia repair.
In two of the surgeries I was fighting for my life. In one, I was getting no nutrients or minerals in my body and we could not get the stomach to work. They had to put in a nasogastric tube to help my stomach and bowels to start working.
I was in the hospital for two weeks and I have missed Christmas and New Years due to hospitalization.
One year later I had the abdominal hernia repair and bowel obstruction fixed. I ended up fighting for my life again because of a staph infection and an abscess on my ovaries.
While in hospital they inserted a peck line (those go straight into your main artery) for antibiotics and I went home with it. I was there for two weeks and again missed Christmas and New Years.
I had the first feeding tube (J-tube) in 1987, and the second one in December 2005. Right now I have lost over 35 lb. I can't eat much food.
I have pain in the stomach and in the groin area. They don't know what causes it. I might have another surgery to see what is going on.
I worked all the time against Doctor Ricci's advice at the beginning.
Then came 2005 and I worked for the State of Kansas at tax time for five years. But in 2005, I was extremely ill and worked because I had to support my family.
When it ended in June of 2005, my health started to deteriorate. I suffered extreme pain and weight loss.
I get very depressed that there is no cure, only medications to take care of symptoms. My medications cost me about $50 a month.
I will never get to work again and I have a hard time with that because I like to work, meet other people and have people to talk to. I feel very isolated from friends and family because of my illness.
I do not have enough money to survive. I get disability money, which goes toward bills. I borrow money to pay others. I try to pay my mom $100 for what I owe her.
I help support Jessica. Jesse sometimes gives me $100 to $200, or none at all.
Tonight my oven on my gas stove broke and I do not know what I am going to do. It is June 11 and I am broke and still have to pay electric and gas.
I have medical bills in collections because I can't even pay $10 a month. I would like a little bit of help so I can pay my bills and my mom back. If I can't get help I have no idea what I will do. Jesse only makes $674 from SSI.
I will never be able to hold down a job because of my medication. I also have a hard time with nausea, pain, and I can't sit for too long, as I am doing right now. I only use the computer for research on my disease and for things like this grant.
I am looking for a personal grant that would help me pay my bills with a little left so maybe I could do things with my granddaughter when my health permits.
I would just like to not have to worry about bills, which would help me mentally.