Disability Grant To Help Cynthia Build Home Business And Self Worth
by Cynthia Bailey
(Front Royal, Virginia, USA)
On my wedding day with stepdaughter/flower girl
I am a 50-year-old mother of four wonderful children ranging from 7 to 23 years old. I am married and live with one of our children and my husband and our three-year-old dog named Ellie.
We lost our family dog of 17 years in 2010 after a snake bit her. It was devastating to the whole family and we buried her in our yard so she would always be with us.
Three years ago, I lost my home of 24 years due to financial hardship as a result of my disabilities. We moved to Front Royal Virginia where God helped us acquire the home of our dreams. Our new home has everything I need on the first floor so I no longer have to contend with the challenge of stairs.
I worked for the Department of State for 28 years and was forced to retire on Disability due to my accident. Most of those years were as a contractor so I only had six actual years of government service to go towards my retirement.
During my divorce from my first husband I realized how hard it was to find a Notary Pubic that was available when I was not at work.
So I took the night class and became a notary public in 2003 and have kept up my certification and commission every since.
I never used to charge for this service as I saw there was a need and I did not need the money. Now it is a source of income for me, but I am limited due to my disability and resources.
In 2009 I was in the process of cleaning our boat to sell, because we needed the money.
I was in the middle of a sexual harassment case with my boss so the doctor had put me on a new medicine, as I was not able to sleep or eat.
I became dizzy in the hot sun and fell off the boat onto the concrete driveway. My son found me unconscious several hours later.
After numerous tests I was diagnosed with non-descriptive neurological damage. I suffered grand mal seizures, increased white blood cell count and numerous other involuntary muscle movements.
Over the years I have further been diagnosed with MS, fibromyalgia, lymphoma, anemia, glaucoma and anorexia. I am now legally paralyzed and require medical equipment to move.
I applied for a received SSDI, but it was not enough to save my home.
Once we realized we were going to lose our home we began looking for another home and we found a house in Front Royal Virginia. We were blessed that we were able to afford the house and it meets most of my disability needs.
My credit was destroyed by the loss of the house along with mounting medical bills and credit card debt I could no longer afford.
We have a 13-year-old stick shift truck, which I am unable to drive.
We are still trying to pay our delinquent bills.
I was granted forgiveness from the home loan and do not have to pay the difference back. God has been with us the whole time.
We currently cannot afford another vehicle and definitely cannot afford a vehicle that will accommodate my manual wheelchair and hopefully one day an electric wheelchair.
I am losing the use of my muscles and I will not be able to utilize a manual wheelchair much longer.
I applied for home health care assistance with Social Security and was denied. They said I definitely qualified physically but I made $100 too much each month to qualify.
This has baffled me, as I make too much for assistance but not enough to pay my bills.
Don't get me wrong we have food, clothes and shelter but we are getting deeper and deeper in debt each month, I do not see how we will ever dig out of this hole.
I had always been able to take care of my family and now I feel like such a failure, as I cannot provide for them the way I used to.
Knowing that I needed to bring more income into the home I have researched every possible way to earn money from home.
Most of the ways require classes and a certification, which I cannot afford, and some days I am able to function and other days I cannot even physically get out of bed.
I have maintained my Notary Certification and do that as much as I can. The demand for a notary is not that great as most banks provide that service for free to their customers. Most real estate and lawyer offices have their own notary on staff.
I get about five jobs a months but the most I am permitted to charge is $5 per notary. So although every penny helps it is not a guaranteed thing and it is not enough to make a difference in our lives.
I do receive SSDI and a very small retirement but that is not enough to meet the financial needs of my family.
I had always been the strongest child in my family and always financially helped my parents and siblings. I can no longer do that and they are not in a position to help me.
I deal with the emotional distress every day that I am no longer a provider for my children. I am not the strong invincible woman that I used to be - that is the hardest pill to swallow.
I can no longer maintain my home and perform such tasks daily as laundry, meal preparation and cleaning. I feel like a burden to my family.
I need help maintaining my household and preparing meals. I don't eat breakfast or lunch most days because I cannot prepare anything by myself.
When we can afford it I nibble on pretzels throughout the day until my daughter and husband get home to help me prepare dinner.
I can no longer drive to the store to get groceries of take myself to a doctor as I cannot operate the stick-shift truck. We desperately need a van or a vehicle that can accommodate a wheelchair and allow me to get in and out of.
I currently sleep most nights in a chair so I can get out of it the next morning. This is very hard on my already damaged back and neck but if I lie in a traditional bed it is impossible to get out of without assistance.
My husband and daughter have work and school and some days I am not strong enough to roll myself to the floor. If I make it that far some days I am stuck on the floor all day. I really need a hospital style bed that I can get in and out of by myself.
I am no longer able to get in and out of a bath; the warm water helps my muscles so much!
I have seen commercials for a walk-in tub and dream of the day that I could afford one.
I desperately want to be self-reliant but in my current physical state and the resources currently available to me that is simply not an option.
My mind and heart are strong enough to run a courier and notary service but I do not have the funds to establish a business and hire a staff. I think I could really increase my income if given a chance to start such a company.
I have the willpower to see this idea through but I lack the funding to get it started. I am not looking for a handout. I want to earn a salary and feel good about myself again and be an asset to my family again.
My son does contractor work and we have discussed starting a business and combing both of our efforts.
I am very detailed oriented and could handle the estimates, books and taxes and he would handle the jobs. If we had a staff, we could do contract jobs and a courier and notary service.
Importunely my son got into some trouble a couple years back and he is a felon. I don't care what companies say; they will not hire a felon. He has applied for over 3000 jobs and has not received even one call back.
His only hope of making an income is to work for himself. He has the muscle and I have the brains, but neither has the funds.
That is my story. I thank you for taking the time to read it and I hope it will touch your heart and you will take a chance on me. I know I don't have long for this world but I am determined to go out as a lion and not as a lamb in a wheelchair.