Grant For 25 Year Old Bipolar Caregiver To Loving Alzheimer Grandmother
by Jesse Kobos
(Lexington, NC, USA)
My name is Jesse. I'm 25, single and currently living with my parents after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder during enrollment at Appalachian State University.
I recently graduated from a local community college with a Business Administration Associates degree.
In a struggling local economy and unemployment locally at 12.8% I am desperately seeking work with benefits to be able to stay medicated on my 26th birthday.
I can't stand the thought of losing myself in the downward spiral again, not with finally starting my life at 25 being balanced and happy.
I am Bipolar Type I, ADHD, with anxiety disorder, as well as some OCD tendencies.
In high school I was a straight A student, varsity football player, and friendly to everyone.
After getting off of a routine schedule and making a few mistakes in college, I wound up not even knowing the person I saw in the mirror.
I moved home junior year with a 2.0 GPA, of course feeling I failed, and hopeless for success. I was diagnosed the week I moved back which is now, 3 years ago.
I did finally get a degree, which at this point, means more to me than anything. And I'm happy to say I'm medicated, balanced, and love to see the person in the mirror every morning now.
Being unemployed at 25 I feel as if I'm trapped here with no income, and dependent on my parents.
I live in a loft over their living room, which gives me about two hours of privacy before they get home, then the TV is turned off and I'm left to read or do what I usually do, walk up to grandma's house.
Over the last year I've seen Dementia and Alzheimer's ruin her life. My father took her car, as she isn't fit to drive.
She can no longer cook, or even keep up with when she took her medications or if she should eat macaroni and cheese for breakfast.
And now I want to be her rock as she was for me through every mood swing. My parents can't afford nursing homes, and every family caregiver program in the new medical bill is for Medicaid, not Medicare.
I'm ready to begin my life. Just getting out of this open stage of a room and having my own door to close would be nice.
She needs the 24-hour care, and I want to do what she's done for me through everything I've gone through in my life.
Though still, that only gets me to the fork in the road, of finding a job, or opening an eBay business buying pallets of electronics and then reselling them, as well as owning a computer restore shop alongside it.
One day, I'll get that, but for now, my grandmother needs me.
Of course running my own business won't pay for my $3100 in medication each month, and most private insurers wont accept me, and if they do, it's a small fortune I'd never be able to afford.
If nothing else, my disorders have taught me there is light at the end of every path in life.
I've held part-time jobs on and off through college, before knowing I was having an episode or just didn't go to work because my dark room seemed much better.
Now that I've grown able to stand on my own two feet, the economy isn't letting me. I build computers, also program for smart phones, and job search.
I'm hoping I'll make a program that will get me a good income or find a job with benefits. I fix my friends' computers, and anything with buttons.
I also attend Celebrate Recovery at my local church to celebrate the darkness being behind me and to keep my focus on the sunshine ahead.
I love helping out people with their struggles and problems. But even with all of my talents on computers and technology, it's not helping with the current job market.
After presenting some of my work from classes, many managers are impressed, but then I always get the "Sorry we found someone more qualified."
Throughout college I worked in restaurants, and now that I know what I want to do with my life no company will give me the opportunity to do it.
So I figured I'd make my own company, because no matter what, I haven't come this far down this broken road to not succeed.
My grandmother's house needs a few modifications to make it safer and just easier for her to do things as well as some safety bars for her shower, as I wouldn't be able to help her bathe.
My car has been sitting in the car shop now for three months because I have no income to go pick it up.
I'd like to start an eBay business. I'd need a fast computer, Internet connection at my grandmother's.
I'd also need a business loan for the first shipment of goods to sell. I've calculated making enough to be right on track for renting a building and finally seeing success.
I am not one to ask for handouts, so I wouldn't know a price to put on being there for my grandmother and the peace of mind that would give me, or a price on independence from my childhood.
I would love to not have to worry about my medications in five months. It will all work out, I'm sure of it.
I just stumbled upon this site while searching for grants to help me afford living with my grandmother and start on my own and figured I'd write my story.
Rather simply, I want to open a technology shop modeled like a pawnshop where people who, like me hit the bottom, have somewhere they can come to get their child some food, or pay rent.
I'd use items that have been pawned to open an eBay store. The items would be in the store to view firsthand. People would be able to browse around if they weren't able to bid or have a PayPal or eBay account.
I'd advertise through various applications on smart phones and developers of applications on them to allow me a plug.
Also, around here, I've always been highly recommended for help with anything with touch screens buttons or technology in general.
Sales would be rather easy because even when no one comes in the shop, there is always someone on eBay.
And with the economy, pawn/discount stores that offer quality computers/phones/TVs/and repairs, at a reasonable price have always been something I wanted to do with my talents.
And finally I'd be able to stand outside of the door I lock at night to go home to my grandmother, give her medicine, make her dinner. And that to me is success.
I don't want the world, I just want a chance to live the life I struggled so hard to get to… and now it's starting to feel too late.