Housing Vehicle And Computer Grant For MRSA Disabled Woman All Alone
(Yucca Valley, CA. USA)
When talking to myself, I often rant about so many things. But when you are asking me to tell it, I don't know what to say.
I'm 52 years old, and mother of four sons who are grown up beyond legal age now.
I am now alone. I was married twice and divorced and I had a few relationships prior to my Illness six years ago.
In fact, I even have fewer memories of myself and my life, except for those of my boys and certain people who were imprinted upon my heart.
This is all due to the Illness that struck me down and stole my life from me six years ago.
I had a fever of 109 for eight weeks, and spent a very long time in various different hospitals.
I had contracted MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, a bacterium with antibiotic resistance.). Due to the severity of it and the doctors' inability to gain control of my fever, I was sent to a larger facility.
While I was there, they removed my replaced hip of 17 years, and left it out, with the explanation, "Had it NOT been removed, the infection would keep growing, and either the infection itself or the fever would soon kill me."
They removed all of my thighbone, down to two inches above the knee.
I was told that after having an infection of that nature the odds of successfully re-replacing any joint were small to none.
I went through so many changes, emotionally, physically, mentally and needless to say I still am.
Four years later, I finally found a doctor who said he could do it (fix-it-re-replace it) after at least five separate orthopedic surgeons with notable careers said that it was too much work for them to do.
The wonderful doctor did his best, but it came out 4-1/2 inches shorter than my other leg.
The muscles are wrapped improperly. They are not responding to strengthening exercises and it is extremely painful, ALL the time.
I ask myself, "How or why did this happen to me? I used to walk four miles per day, on purpose. I just got sick and my whole life has been ripped away from me."
I keep on trying everyday, doing as much as possible, as much as the pain will permit me. Not just physical damage has been done, I lost memory and self esteem.
Even now my brain just goes blank. I used to be an articulate person, well read.
I hear my mother telling me how I was, and I don't remember so much about myself or my life. It's like it has just been erased from me.
This frightens me. It makes me feel very odd.
Something is ALWAYS missing. Sometimes little glimpses flash before me and I search myself and my memory. I hope for some sort of confirmation, "Yes, that was something you did."
But I am alone now, except for a caregiver and a dog named Mia. She keeps me company.
I also have this computer in order for me to make contact with the outside world.
Because of the terrible pain and constant swelling of my legs now (and my inability to get back to the doctors to beg them to fix the height discrepancy), I spend most of my time on my bed with my legs up.
I pay my rent and utilities and purchase my household needs and dog food. What's left isn't much.
I've tried to get a real home, from the USDA or HUD, but somehow I never qualify.
My financial hardships? Where do I begin?? I NEED EVERYTHING... I pay far too much rent on a dump.
I can't afford curtains so I cover the windows with blankets, which is very tacky.
I need to return to my doctors down in Eisenhower, but have no way to get there.
I also need to be seen by a "Gastrointestinal Specialist." That referral lapsed six months ago due to lack of transportation.
I need a real home, with carpet on the floors, one that I'm investing in. I need a place to call my own, one I can know I can live in for the rest of my life.
Now that I am in this shape, my only contact with the outside world is this computer (that crashes constantly). I really need a new computer.
I can't afford to pay for a bankruptcy or I would, so I MIGHT be able to get a HOME from UDSA or HUD.
I have told people before, if I have ANY money left over after rent, utilities, dog food, toilet paper, soaps, and so on, I would love to buy some food.
I receive my little SSI check, and I am grateful for it. I don't own anything of value, no jewelry, no vehicle, no curtains, no house or home, nothing.
But my bills are all current, including my rent. My dog has food and my hair and dishes are clean.
I need a grant for housing and for a vehicle. One of those disabled vans would be best, but a simple small truck would do just fine.
I used to want to start my own business, but in my deteriorating condition, I don't think I would be able to invest enough of myself into it.
I think I could use some counseling to help my mental condition, since all of this has happened to me.
God bless you and thank you for listening.