34 Year Old Woman With Multiple Disabilities Seeks Debt Relief Grant
by Tamiko Brooks
(Colton, CA, USA)
My Family, Myself, Kris and King the pup
Hi my name is Tamiko Brooks. I am a 34-year-old female born in Atlanta, Georgia. I currently live in Colton, California with my partner that I am in a committed same sex marriage to.
My partner will be having a baby boy in June of 2011. Due to the trauma I went through beginning as a child I am unable to bear my own children.
I was married to an abusive man that I tried a lot to have children for, thinking his behavior would change.
I ended up going through 14 pregnancies before the age of 25 and they all ended in miscarriages or stillbirths. The cause is still unknown.
Now I have so many issues with my female organs that it makes me feel less than a woman.
I was raped and molested from 8 years old, off and on, until my divorce from my husband in 2002, because he was one of the many men and woman that took advantage and violated me.
Since I was diagnosed at 8 years old, I have been categorized as dyslexic, schizophrenic that suffers from schizoaffective disorder, paranoia, mood disorder and multiple personalities.
As a child from birth until age 8 I had a speech problem and could not talk. I was in special education in school and had to take speech therapy.
Because I was unable to talk, this allowed for a lot of sexual abuse and neglect from my family.
I now have added to my list over the years, diabetes type 2 and seizure disorder not to mention very bad asthma.
On top of all of that I am always depressed as I also have depression and anxiety.
Because of all the sexual abuse, molestations, mental, emotional, physical abuse and also neglect from family and having no friends growing up, my depression and other disorders have spiraled down into the dump.
To this day no one ever believed me because they told me it was the people in my head and I was a liar.
I tried to commit suicide before I graduated high school. I went away to Albany state college. At Albany state I was part of (R.O.T.C) and that’s where I met my ex-husband.
He turned out to be all the people I was running from all rolled into one ball times 10.
Because he was in the military, after we got married we were stationed in Baumholder, Germany, which took me far away from anyone I knew.
This was both good and bad. Because I was always alone for weeks and months at a time when my husband went on duty, I had no choice but to keep company with the voices in my head.
My depression began to really take control. When my husband returned, he would force me to be a part of his nasty sexual behaviors with other men, women, and groups whether I was pregnant or not.
When I wouldn’t do it, I was beaten up or whipped with a belt like a child until I bled.
I tried again to take my life and it didn’t work. He beat me because I made him take me to the hospital. We divorced in 2002.
Since 2003 I have been getting social security income and I have struggled with paying all my bills and managing my debt.
There was a misunderstanding of the length of time I was allowed to work and still be eligible for help.
I worked for a school in the Riverside School district for 4 years in order to live comfortably.
I take a lot of medication on a daily basis and that helps to keep me under control.
I get SSDI to help me with medication and doctors bills that have been the least of my worries.
Because my medication is at least $5000 a month, there is no way I would be able to afford it.
But trying to keep bills paid after not working and only getting my SSDI, I am barely making it.
I really do want to get back into school and continue with my goals to become a Social Worker in the criminal justice field helping children suffering from disabilities like myself.
Over the last 7 years my partners and my family have taken advantage of me financially.
My credit is less than poor because of all the things family and friends have done while using my name or misleading me into doing some things I don’t understand the outcome of.
The stress of my money issue led me to try to take my life many times and also made me so depressed and paranoid.
If I could get out of my financial trouble and be able to face a day without a bill collector calling or having a shut off notice on my door, my depression would go away.
I will be able to focus on my future in criminal justice and my new loving, and supportive family.
My family notices a change in me when I am working or in school. I really want to get back into school and I really need to be able to pay off my debt or at least get some of the money problems fixed.
I am looking to get a grant to get me out of debt and help me pay for school, and help me with my daily needs and expenses.
I know it’s hard to show you how my life has been or for you to put yourself in my shoes, because the truth is nobody will ever know what I go through on a daily basis.
No one will ever be able to walk in my shoes but with the help of a grant, even though I still won’t be able to change the shoes God has given me, my walk will be a little bit easier.
Thank you for your consideration.