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48 Year Old Bipolar Jennie Seeks Disability Grant To Thrive Not Just Survive

by Jennie Leigh
(Lilburn, Georgia, USA)

My name is Jennie. I am 48 years old, with a birthday coming up on Valentines Day, February 14, 2014. I am single and never married.

Though I love children, I chose not to have them due to my disability.

I love to read for fun and surf the Internet. I really care about people. I am a nice person. I love to learn. I have a college degree from the University of Georgia in Speech Communication.

I am not stupid. I am just struggling and need a little help and guidance.

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Disability Issues

I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. I am not sure why I have to have so many mental illnesses but I try to live my life helping others whenever I can.

Although most people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder are women and the disability tends to get better with age, I have really struggled this year.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in January 2013 and had a double/radical mastectomy in February. I do struggle a whole lot with depression and have attempted suicide over 20 times in my life.

I do not want to die. I just want life to get a little easier if possible.

Financial Hardship

I have been living at a program for adults with disabilities for almost six years. I also worked for the program as their primary receptionist until November 18, 2013.

Due to several attempts at self-harm, I have become a liability to the program. I have been told repeatedly that I am a liability and can no longer stay in my apartment.

It is not their fault. My depression has been unbearable. I am currently trying to quickly find affordable housing and hope that by living on my own, I will no longer be a burden to anyone and will be able to create a good life for myself in a new environment.

I cannot afford a car, though I still have my license. I have been hospitalized four times this year due to depression and suicidal ideation and a lot of that is not being able to afford my medications because I keep falling into coverage gaps/donut holes with my insurance.

The only income I have is the SSDI Social Security Disability Income. I am currently trying to qualify for GA Medicaid and if I succeed, I will be able to afford my medications (I take nine different medications).

I will also have medical transportation to doctor appointments, etc. Then the only transportation I will have to find is to go grocery shopping, and on other typical errands.

Income Efforts

I do receive SSDI $1409 a month. I was working until November 18, 2013 but due to depression and being told I am liability for the program I am currently living in but trying to secure affordable housing by the end of January 2014.

My best friend has helped me tremendously through the years but quite frankly has exhausted not only the resources to help me but the desire as well. It is not her fault. It is mine.

All I want to do is afford a place to live, my medication and find affordable counseling so that I can learn to stop dying and start living.

But medication is more than I can pay. I have no one helping me find an apartment or even go look at any. I also can't find counseling that I can afford.

I do not want to die. I just cannot continue my life as it is. It is too hard and I do not have the resources to afford the help that I need.

Specific Needs

I am seeking any housing, medication, living benefits or grants so that I may stop dying because that is all I am doing. I don't want to die. I am afraid to.

I just need any resources, advice, benefits, grants, any help to stand on my own two feet. I don't want to be a burden to anyone.

Everyone I know, primarily people in the program I am currently residing in, expects me to fail on my own. But I have survived a lot. I don't want to survive. I am tired of "surviving." I want to thrive.

But I am also smart enough to know I can't do it alone. I need some sort of help and guidance.

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