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Bipolar Disabled Single Mother Seeks Grant Money Help To Avert Deathbed Crisis

by Melissa
(Rochester, New Hampshire, USA)

My name is Melissa, I am 40 years old female. I am single. I have two beautiful daughters ages 14 and 17.

I suffer from anxiety, bipolar, posttraumatic stress, attention deficit and obsessive-compulsive disorders.

Bipolar and anxiety are the primary obstacles in my life. It is difficult for me to even go to the grocery store.

I do not do well in crowded places and have had panic attacks in the past while in public.

I currently receive both Social Security and Social Security Disability benefits. My total monthly income from both programs is $694.

I am struggling immensely with housing and transportation. Due to my disabilities I am not able to live in a group setting such as a homeless shelter. I also would not do well in a roommate situation.

These issues coupled with my very low income make housing an urgent and detrimental problem that seems hopeless.

I stay in a bug-infested motel when I can afford it and sometimes sleep in my car.

Just recently my transmission started to go in my car, and the heat stopped working. Sleeping in my car will not be one of my options very soon.

Although I do receive income in the amount of $694 from both Social Security and Social Security Disability, I desperately need financial help.

It is hard to suffer from mental disabilities and have the added burden of homelessness and hunger.

Stress tends to trigger my bipolar and anxiety conditions and my financial situation is extremely stressful.

I am slowly becoming agoraphobic. My comfort zone used to about 40 miles away from my hometown, and now I find it hard to leave town.

Eventually I will not want to leave my dingy motel and then perhaps I should make myself a deathbed and sleep away the insanity.

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Feb 17, 2013
I get it... and a hospital isn't the answer.
by: Anonymous

There is no reason this woman needs to go to a hospital. She isn't a danger to herself. What she needs is a home to be safe in. I know. And she will NOT get better until she starts from a safe place to take baby steps from. Hospitals will do what? She's already been disabled. Hospitals are scary; they are full of people - that's so not where anyone agoraphobic is gonna go. I know how she feels. Where I live now, I'm finding my own mother becoming very abusive toward me. I'm already agoraphobic, along with the bipolar, panic disorder and anxiety, PTSD and whatever else is listed on my diagnosis. I need a place to be reclusive, and to take baby steps on MY terms, without the added stresses of having ANYONE around unless they are someone "safe" (trust me it's a small list) or of finances I can barely meet with my disability benefit, and that's not even including any money for housing or utilities. That's just medication and monthly needs. I get $30 in food stamps a month, though I showed that I spend anywhere around $400 + on medication each month. That lasts about a week. I starve a lot. And I've struggled to even put this weight on myself and how ironic that now I am starving not by choice. I've had it, personally. I feel like all the progress I did make in the last 10 years + is all gone and I'm right back to square one. And I truly believe it's because I never got to have a safe place. It's like having a house built on no foundation. The safe place is the foundation we all need, some of us just have much smaller safe places, some of us only 1. So far I have none, and neither does she. If you aren't agoraphobic it may be hard to understand why suggestions that seem like no-brainers don't work. Think hermit. Hermits don't want to be around people. Hermits don't leave the house, they don't go to hospitals. A hermit without a house? That's just cruel. It really is. How can you be a hermit if you don't have a house to be a hermit in? Exactly. Still a hermit... just a constantly suffering one.

Aug 07, 2011
You need help, NOW!
by: Ken

Talk to your daughters and have them take you to a hospital, NOW!!! You are not alone in this and in today's economy this is getting bigger and bigger. You do have rights, if you have no assets, there is nothing left to lose. The hospitals can't refuse you, hopefully you will find a doctor that will diagnose your illness, render a prognosis and administer the proper medications and therapy.

Just give yourself a chance! You say you have two beautiful daughters, well where are they? You are probably a difficult person to deal with, but don't be pesimistic on this matter. Life is short and maybe someday you will be a grandmother and think of them, and the joy may come back into your life, if you take action NOW! I don't even want you to finish reading what I am saying to you. Leave now or call an ambulance, get a stranger or anyone to call 911. Do it!!!

You must at least give your daughters a chance to get older and not take what you are doing, show how you can take care of yourself and not be a burden on your daughters. Show the world what to do in the most dire times and don't become a statistic. If I were closer, I would drag you down to the nearest hospital myself, but you can walk, so do it with your head up high! You can do it!

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