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Bipolar Disorder Disabled Man Seeks Housing Grant To Help Poor People

by Joshua
(Alton, IL, USA)

My name is Joshua Crum. I am a 30-year-old male, close to my family, and without kids. I am a mature, responsible and caring person.

I make homemade laundry detergent. I give away 50 gallons to other poor people for every 5 I keep.

I love cars, in addition to visiting my family, friends and those that I can help.

I am the type of person who is willing to trade my life so my friend’s daughter could live.

I asked, "God? Do you have my back?" As I lightly stepped into the car, my back was SHOVED so hard. I kissed the passenger dash lightly, stepping into the driver’s side!

I rescued the 4-year-old girl – Skyler – from my submerging vehicle. I handed her to her mother while I was still in the vehicle.

I was breathing the last air in the car. I was hyper ventilating, unable to stop. I was scared that I was about to drown.

I begged God to give me the peace of mind to be able to stop at the last possible second. An inch of air was left at the top of the car. I was kissing the ceiling of my car to breathe. I got a moment of Zen.

I made it out. I ran over a mile in wet shoes, 40F temps, to get help. The police and tow truck came. They saw my car, which only has one tail light out of the water. They found it to be an accident and we were not at fault.

Disability Issues

(Crying while writing) Since I was about 10 years old, my parents knew something was wrong.

I went to lots of doctors. I have been on more than 50 medications for depression and bipolar II disorder.

My condition often causes wild swings in my sleeping pattern. My depression issues and severe bipolar caused me to drop out of high school.

I clearly remember my last two months. I was wide-awake 99% of the time for more than two weeks straight. Next, I slept for nearly two weeks. I only woke up to drink and go to the bathroom.

This was a terrible time in my life. Looking back still makes me a little sad.

I wanted to die bad enough that I was making progress with a PLASTIC knife. After hitting such a low, I decided to never let myself feel that down ever again.

I get close sometimes, but I have been fighting a lot harder. Guess what? I went back and I got my GED! I'm very proud of that!

I haven't been medicated so long because every drug I have tried ends up causing worse side effects than the help it brings. So I fight my battle of the mind alone, and I am going to win!

I officially became disabled around last year. I can't tell you how relieved I was!

I got on disability SSI and SSD, Medicare ABD and Medicaid! I can't express my appreciation for the basics of life.

I did not have ANY medical insurance since I was 14! I'm pretty intelligent with computers and cars. I have manually built my last 4 cars.

Before you think that I'm not very intelligent, do you know who else was bipolar? Einstein.

Financial Hardship

I tried for many years to be financially independent but met with failure.

I use my car a lot for transportation of several disabled people and myself. We can't take the public transit everywhere. They don't run when you need them.

Even though I can't afford my own basic living needs, I donate gallons upon gallons of homemade laundry detergent to those in need.

I really need to build up my car to be able to sustain lots of in-town driving to transport local disabled people to doctors, pharmacy, etc. I have been working very hard to this goal.

I need fuel for my car. It only takes premium and that gets costly fast!

I now own a 93 Mitsubishi 3000GT-VR4 Twin Turbo. It is like an unofficial ambulance for the disabled.

I only charge gas money and eat all the car maintenance costs. Another thing that would greatly help is to have someone who can help me cover my car insurance. It is not expensive as I am a great driver with no tickets or accidents. But it is a lot on my super low income.

I give everyone rides. I've put well over 30,000 miles on my nice car. I took out my $400 stage 2 racing clutch kits within 8 months due to the extended wear off in town driving. This was when I helped my fellow disabled. It is about time to help myself again.

I want to go to college but I can't. I need my car in tiptop condition first – I promised.

I went to college for a few classes. I was getting an A and a B. Due to my disability and being so poor I could not afford a reliable auto.

I missed 4 days in the semester. I had gotten PELL and other grants just to have the opportunity. I guess they thought I wasted it because if you miss a day after day 1 it's a letter grade per day off the final grade. I was kicked out of the grant program!

Years later, I made a one-page appeal letter. It was denied. Frustrated, I wrote a well-worded 2-page appeal letter. It got APPROVED!

I can't get back into college until I have a completely reliable vehicle. I'm not blowing my chance again! There are a lot of things that would GREATLY help me and others.

Income Efforts

I have tried for a couple of years to get a job. Over 100 applications and 50 callbacks, I still got no job.

I begged my friend who got a job as an executive chef at a local (hour drive) bistro. I worked there briefly, but due to our down market eco-no-money, people can't afford to eat out.

I have years of customer service and food service. I also had a couple years as an assistant manager.

Ever lost money trying to work? I have. It happened a lot of times.

I tried to run my own computer repair business. It failed miserably. My costs out-weighed my profits. I spent more money trying to work than I was making.

I was fired from a pizza delivery job because I broke my car while delivering. I had it fixed two days later and got my last paycheck. I also did a 100+ foot burn out across their new parking lot.

Now I try to take care of myself. I have some income – albeit a very minimal amount.

What I can do now is to make laundry soap. I helped my friend with 8 kids and 3 adults with 12 gallons of laundry soap! Have you ever seen a grown black man living in the projects who is about to cry? I have.

Recently, I helped him rebuild a trash house so he and his family could live there. He had no help. He could not even offer me gas money.

Specific Needs

I seek any and all benefits that will assist me in my goals of helping myself and others. I have a long list that I can share. It is too long to include here.

In addition I would like to earn money driving racecars. I can drive better than anyone. I know and can't find out how poor people get into it.

If anyone could help rally support for house bill 30 in IL, it would be great.

I have found no better anti-depressant. Also, I know many people with severe mental and physical disabilities that greatly benefit from herbal treatment.

Any advice, sympathy, donations, etc. are greatly appreciated more than you will ever know.

Business Ideas

PLEASE HELP! I need and would LOVE to get off of disability! I know two ways I could do so! They require donations/investments.

First, my friend and I have just rebuilt a house. We would like to rebuild several so I could own my own house and we could have rentals and be self-sufficient.

A repeating grant or loan to buy a house would help. Also, a small budget to repair the house would help us make that happen! No risk!

We would repay a loan or grant with interest and yearly tax money paid in!

My other business idea involves my mechanic friend. He is the best mechanic I've ever met. I'm great with customer service and management.

With the two of us, we could run and own a garage! I know this would make money and again get me off disability. This will also put me in a position of self-sufficiency where I'm paying back the government for their kind help.

If you are in a position to help you can save me from a life of debt, sorrow and poverty.

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Dec 15, 2012
Found some help.
by: Joshua C

Update: I found help, currently working with Benefits.gov and Grants.gov to try to get a house!

It's a great start! More welcome! Thanks!

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