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Bipolar Disorder Disabled Mom Seeks Grant Help With Mounting Expenses

by Heather Haden
(McPherson, KS, USA)

My name is Heather Haden I am a 26-year-old single mother of a beautiful four-year-old daughter. Her name is Diamond.

She is my everything. I feel like a horrible parent though, because I am struggling to stay afloat.

I was born January 13, 1986 in Newton, Kansas to Cristie Likins and David Haden. I have four siblings, two by the same parents and two by just my dad.

I was five when my parents split. I never really got to know my father. He killed himself when I was 13. The day I found out, I will never forget.

I had slipped on the last step at my middle school and broke the growth plate in my right ankle. After they wheeled me to my mom's car and all the doors were shut, my mom spoke.

She said with a nasty tone, "Your father killed himself. The funeral is tomorrow. Do you want to go?" I cried, "Yes of course I do."

When I saw him lying there I wanted nothing more than to climb in with him.

Shortly after I got my cast off I went to stay with my aunt Brenda for spring break. On our way to her house, we got into a bad rollover accident. If her truck had rolled one more time my right leg would have been cut off.

I would love nothing more than to be caught up and be able to afford to live without stressing over what might be shut off or what I might have to deal without.

I spent about 80 percent of my teen years in some type of mental facility. Prairie View and Larned State Hospital were the main two.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and social anxiety.

I had tried to kill myself numerous times and multiple ways for many years. I wanted to be with my dad and was tired of the pain and disappointment I felt on a daily basis.

I was released for the last time at age 18 to my Aunt Traci. I stayed with her and her family until I got my own place.

At 19, I was raped, beaten and "pimped out" for almost two years. I started doing drugs and cutting myself to escape the pain. Then someone spirited me away and helped me to get my life back.

At 23, I had my daughter who changed my life completely. I am more dedicated to bettering my life not only for myself, but also for Diamond as well.

I feel like a worthless mother for not being able to provide for her in the way I would like. I am doing the best that I can, but between my SSI and the assistance I get from SRS I might bring in if I am lucky almost $800 a month. It doesn't even come close to covering all my expenses.

My rent is $450, and I'm a month and a half behind. My BPU (Electric, water, and trash) is $250, my gas is $117 and my phone bill is $190. I'm behind on all of them.

I have to choose what and how much goes on the bills and hope that I can afford the other necessity for my daughter and me.

I get SSI which is $698 and cash assistance of $198 and food stamps of $280. I go to food banks and churches for help when I can.

I would love nothing more than to be caught up and be able to afford to live without stressing over what might be shut off or what I might have to deal without.

I like where I live and my landlord has been really understanding, but I can't survive and I don't know what else to do. If there is anything you might be able to help with, please let me know.

I have struggled all my life and I would really like some help. I always try to help others but have never received help.

If there is anything you can do I am willing to put forth the effort to make things better for my daughter and me.

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Aug 04, 2016
The mom's side
by: Heather's mom

First off I didn't say it in a nasty tone. I felt bad about their dad. I have done the best I can to help her. I'm not the one that kept them from seeing him. I took them to him many times but he is the one that stopped seeing them. You know how sad it is to watch your children wait at the door to see the father and the disappointment in their faces when he doesn't show. It broke my heart. Over the years I have tried to help her. She has lived with me numerous times. Bipolar is a hard disease for everyone involved. I'm in debt myself from trying to help her. I feel guilty that she has this disease. I wish I could take it away from her. She is a good person. I love her very much.

Jun 08, 2012
Things piling up in KS
by: Ken

Hi Heather,

I don't know if you can work or not, but a friend of mine had a good doctor and she has a good cocktail to help with her problems and now she has a part time job and loves it. She gets out and away for a few hours by herself without her lovely little son. I think he likes daycare too. It seems to me that you are making more money than I have ever seen on SSI, wow. Why do you pay so much for phone. There is Magic Jack for $19.95 a month. Yours must include cable and internet. There are much cheaper servers down there. Also you could find apartments in McPherson for under $450 that include BPU. It's just time to move. I could do more research for you, to get better rates, but there is no way you can get any more money. There are low cost loans and some grants for education, etc. No funding for bills. You can find nice apartments for $450 including BPU and electric. You have to put on your frugal cap and search for what is around you. Here is an address that could help:


Try them for a start. Search for your state. You'll find lots of contacts.

Good luck Heather,

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