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Caring Husband Seeks Grant Money Or Other Help For Disabled Wife

by Kevin J. Nagle
(Chaseburg, Wisconsin, USA)

My wife Monica has had four back surgeries in the last four years and they say there is nothing more they can do for her.

We rent and live in a two-story house with three children and all bedrooms are upstairs. She can barely get up them.

She is limited on what she can lift and takes 14 pills morning and night.

The first fusion with rods she had done has no bone growing on them so now we are looking at another surgery coming up.

I don't know how much more she can take physically as well as mentaly because of this. Our children 15, 8 and 6 are affected as well.

We have to get a one-floor house soon but can't afford to move or buy. We are so far behind on bills and medical bills that we don't know what to do.

I have considered quitting work to stay home and be there to help her and the kids. She can't bend over for very long or bend down and get laundry.

Everything we take for granted as easy is a painful chore. January 12 of this year she was in a car accident and worsened things more.

We really need help for her. I want to take care of her forever. She is only 37 years old and I can't give her anything to just make life easier for her.

She is a strong woman but it is finally wearing her down. She just wants to enjoy the simple things in life with the kids and myself.

Some days she is stuck upstairs in bed. It's terrible and breaks my heart to see this.

If there is any way anybody could help us just to make life somewhat normal and easier for her, to see her smile again is worth more than anything anybody could give. Thank you for you time.

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Jun 11, 2010
I feel your pain
by: Roy

I myself am dealing with a similar situation. My wife has had four back surgeries. We have five kids. The oldest is seven and the youngest is five months. I understand how hard it is physically and mentally to help your spouse with every day life.

I'm sorry I don't have much to give about medical advice. I just try to support my wife and keep her spirits up as much as possible. She recently had a back stimulator put in her back to help with the chronic pain. It didn't seem to do much. Her doctors won't give her any pain pills to help with the pain, just muscle relaxers.

I will be praying for you and your family for strength to get through your hard times. Prayers seem to always help me to understand why the Lord would allow anyone to go through hardships like this. My understanding is things like this gives families a strong reason to call upon each other for strength and support to be able to grow and love each other. This may not seem like very good reasoning to you but gives me a more positive way to look at family life.

May 24, 2010
Love is deep but... need to survive
by: kevin

Well Monica now has arthritis in both knees, spurs under one kneecap. She has to go for a CT scan now to see why her knee locks up and when she has surgery on her knee.

May 25 she sees the doctor on her back to see if surgery will help again. If we don't get help soon we will have to split up. That is the only way she can get help.

We cannot find a one-level place for all of us as the stairs have finally done her in. Between her back and her knees and hips, I really can't find a house we can afford with one level.

I guess it was meant to be. If I let her go on her own she can get help financially as well as housing.

It breaks my heart to do this but I love her so much that I want things better for her even if it means letting her get help by herself.

I guess its God's will that we not be together.

Kevin Nagle

May 23, 2010
Still Trying
by: kevin

Still trying for help for my wife if anybody has any more ideas. She goes this week to find out if she has surgery on her knees for sure. When does the pain end and help start for her?

Kevin Nagle

May 06, 2010
Thank you
by: kevin

Thank you for your input. We will try anything to get the help we can for my wife. Thanks again. My thoughts are with you.

Sincerely, Kevin

Mar 26, 2010
by: Katina

You sound like an incredible spouse! When loved ones live with a chronic illness, it affects everyone around them. My best friend in the world has been there for me to deal with the time-consuming medical appointments, and the mood swings that often accompany a chronic pain condition. You're doing a great job in being there for your wife. I'm sure she feels the same too. Even on the days when it may be hard for her to tell you, she knows. :)

Back Pain: Sounds like she has what is known as failed back surgery syndrome, something I don't quite understand in today's times. Basically, it is a term that physicians use after a patient has back surgery that doesn't fix the problem, or after having multiple surgeries.

Since I'm not a medical professional, I can't offer medical advice. I can tell you about a procedure that you could talk with your doctor about. There are many treatments available to combat chronic spine pain. RFA -- Radio Frequency Ablation is a procedure that can help relieve chronic spine pain, depending on where the pain is coming from.

Other therapies include: Tens Unit (portable/and internal), physical therapy using heat, massage, pool, and other types of treatment nowadays that may help relive some pain and provide mobility.

As to grants, I did some initial research this evening and came up with a few things. The first is called: Modest Needs. The other was a PDF link. I'm not sure if the county you reside in is listed in the list of resources.

American Pain Association

Contact them and ask for a list of resource links and financial help for chronic pain sufferers.

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