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Disability Grant Money To Help Daughter Care For Accident Disabled Parents

by Pauline Stinson
(Winston-Salem, NC, USA)

I am 39 years old and I'm taking care of both of my disabled parents. I'm now looking for government grant money or equal assistance to help out financially.

For nearly seven years I have been living with and providing for both of them, struggling with bills and care.

We need help to pay down debt about $15,000 between the three of us, for medical bills, past loans, and housing.

We also need help getting the personal care equipment, they need: bathroom/shower enhancements, a scooter and bedding.

I also would like to get a van with a wheelchair lift so I can get them, especially my dad, back and forth to the doctor's office safely and comfortably.

We currently live in a two-bedroom apartment that is not handicap accessible. Because of the debt on our credit files, moving into a three-bedroom handicap accessible apartment was denied until I found a co-signer.

We needed the three bedrooms because my parent's extreme back and leg disabilities make it impossible to share a bed now.

Here is little bit about my mother. She is 63 years old and has been disabled for 14 years.

She first had a back injury that required a series of surgeries. One surgery was to repair two collapsed disks.

She was on her way to a full recovery when she fell in a grocery store and re-injured her back and needed screws in her ankle.

Fast-forward to seven years ago, my mother had two strokes a year apart with the first one doing the most damage to the left side of her body.

The next year she was diagnosed with diabetes. A year or two after that she had two stints put in her heart and then had a knee replacement.

Right now, in 2010, she is still having problems with numbness of her hands, legs and feet, which the doctor thinks is a complication of diabetes.

She can get around most of the time but tires quickly and some days can't stand at all.

My father has a health-impaired history as well. He is 69 and will be 70 later this year. He has been disabled for nine years.

My father had a knee replacement surgery that did not heal properly. He was a chef and the pain of standing on is legs grew to more than he could take.

He started falling, losing his balance, and so they forced him to retire early.

He started swelling and retaining water in both legs, so much so that he could not walk. We went back and forth to doctors but could not afford all the tests he needed to find out what the problem was.

It wasn't until three years later, when he got Medicare, that we found out that he has congestive heart failure on the left side of his heart, which was the cause of the water retention.

In the past four years, his mobility has worsened, and he still retains a lot of water that keeps his legs as big as tree trunks.

He has been hospitalized several times to remove the excess water. He has also had two minor surgeries on his neck and one of his arms (elbow).

This month (March 2010) he completed 8 ½ weeks of radiation for prostate cancer and found out that he has spinal osteoarthritis. We are learning that there is no real cure and it will get worse as he gets older.

Over the years, I have been able to work and pay all the bills that they can't meet because of their limited income (SS benefits).

I'm now scared that if my parents' conditions worsen, such as my dad becoming paralyzed, the cost of care will be more than I can handle.

I do not make enough to buy all the equipment they might need, be able to hire a nurse or even put either one of them in a nursing home.

For right now though, getting assistance now to get a handle on things will set up a chance for the future to be stable. I really want to maintain a quality of living that my parents made sure that their five children knew growing up.

My plea is to simply keep them with me and provide for them. We are financially on the edge as so many people are and we are asking for a chance to stay together and survive.

On behalf of my parents Mamie and Roosevelt Stinson and myself, Pauline Stinson, thank you for any help you can point us to or send our way!

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May 21, 2010
Give from Love
by: Anonymous

Unfortunately I don't have any of the answers you seek. I found your plea when I was searching for a site geared toward giving support to caregivers of disabled parents. I guess I'm also looking for other folks' experiences in my own journey through providing care for my parents as they age. Like you, both of my folks are handicapped. My mom suffered a spinal cord injury when she wasn't even a teen yet, and my dad was struck with polio when he was three. I am an only child and obviously it is hard to find other people who are in this position. My parents have been fiercely independent through most of their life, but as they are getting older we are faced with many new and unpredictable issues. I am 32 now, mom is 59 and dad is 63. As an only child, I am not as of yet back in their home, but have never moved far. I am currently in the 'thought process' stage of making the basement of their home live-able and private enough to keep us out of each others hair. It is a rough time for all of us now as mom is looking at a lengthy hospital stay for terrible pressure wounds she has developed. Sometimes I just can't see a light at the end of the tunnel, while still trying to keep a confident front and continue forging ahead. They are also reliant upon Medicare/Medicaid and are faced with some daunting obstacles. I'll bookmark this page and check periodically if you want to post a reply. Maybe we have helpful ideas for one another? Good luck to you and your folks!

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