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Disability Grant To Help Multidisabled Woman Relocate To Kinder Climate

by Katy Stythe
(St. Louis, Missouri, USA)

I'm a 53-year-old woman living in the pro-male-oriented agricultural region of the Midwest.

I've divorced twice and had two children by the time I was 19 years old.

Their father left me when they were nine and six years old and I raised them on my own with little child support or government support.

I frequently worked two or three jobs to do this. As a result, the bond with my children wasn't strong enough for them to want to take care of me in my time of need.

I lost my daughter in a car wreck in 2002. She left behind two children, five years and 18 months. This was emotionally devastating for me, as well as for my son who lost his sister.

Her husband and the children received all sorts of sympathy, life insurance, SSI benefits, family and community support.

They are doing very well although the mobile home they live in needs new floors. I wish I had the money to fix this for them.

My second husband was no help to me and ran off to be with his friends, leaving me at home alone most of the time. He got angry if I cried.

I threw myself into working three different jobs at the local mall during the Christmas season. Of course none of them paid well.

My own family seemed to desert me as they struggled to deal with their own grief, but since I am the eldest of five girls in my family I learned at an early age to survive emotionally without their help.

I struggled to work with temp jobs and then finally found a good job with a sympathetic boss. This lasted for three years until that company had to revamp due to the rising price of gas.

A few months before this job changed, my parents lost everything they owned in an F4 tornado. This was the final straw for my second husband who had conveniently obtained his green card and he kicked me out of his home.

I moved back to be closer to my parents to help them rebuild, as they were not getting any government assistance despite years of paying into the system.

I have quit two wonderful jobs to return home to help them since this happened. The last time I was living with them, my mom and I had a fight and my dad kicked me out of his house.

My sister, who is an attorney married to a doctor, said I could live in her vacant rental house in exchange for doing some repairs. This lasted for a few months until she wanted me to do more work for her.

The job I had finally obtained was demanding so much time and attention that I did not have time or energy to work more for her. She kicked me out of her house!

My parents had sold some of their farmland and bought a house for me to live in but now they are starting to pressure me to pay them back for this.

I don't make enough money to pay them back so I will have to move yet again. I am an independent person who prefers to be self-sufficient as much as I can but I constantly struggle to earn enough money to keep up with inflation.

Disability Issues

For as far back as I can remember in my childhood I have always had a problem with winter and spring in Missouri.

I realize now that I have suffered from seasonal affective disorder most of my life.

Since there were so many younger siblings for my parents to care for, I was just pushed aside and told to be quiet. I learned to read and entertain myself.

My grandmother took me under her wing and helped me while she was alive but she died in 2002 a few months before my daughter was killed.

I started having severe allergies in the spring in 1978 and my whole body chemistry changed after my son was born.

I had to start wearing glasses for myopia and now I have astigmatism.

In 1986, I was put on a tranquilizer to help cope with the reorganization of the company where I worked and I have been off and on them and or antidepressants since then.

In 1993 I was diagnosed with asthma and lived in denial for several years and I still struggle to buy the medication to treat it even with health insurance.

In 2001 and 2002, two different doctors diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia.

In 2004 I had to have female surgery to cure extremely low iron levels but I still have to take supplements sometimes.

In 2005 I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and a carcinoid tumor in my stomach.

They removed 2/3 of my stomach to keep it from coming back and now I suffer from many food allergies and intolerances and have to eat specialty foods, which cost more.

The winter months have become extremely painful for me with my chest aching all the time and lack of oxygen.

I struggle to get out of bed all winter and avoid social contact.

My family has finally accepted my less than optimal physical and mental situation but their answer is to keep me close by and try to run my life and control me, which is actually making it all worse.

I need to move away from them to a milder climate but I don't have the money. I am so deep in Pay Day Loan debt now that I will never get out without assistance or filing bankruptcy.

My parents have said they will not help me relocate.

Financial Hardship

I took me 12 years to pay off the debts I assumed after my first divorce. I finally had to file bankruptcy in 1997.

Due to my inability to tolerate stress and pressure in the springtime, I have quit so many jobs and the one before this one I was actually fired but my boss contested my unemployment so for five months my family supported me with great resentment.

Now they are pressuring me to pay them back and I can't even make enough money here to exist without taking out more loans.

My head is often a white-hot ball of fuzz when allergy season and fibromyalgia flare up.

I now have to fight with my parents and four sisters to get what I need to exist in a decent manner, which wears me out.

My house is a mess right now, which depresses me, and I struggle to work two jobs, one of which is extremely high stress as I am City Clerk for a small town trying to recover from a former corrupt government.

Since stress and pressure make every chronic disease I have get worse my job is actually making me sicker!

I need to file bankruptcy but if I do I know I will lose my job or even worse, they will think I did something wrong even though I have not and make my life miserable and try to put me in jail like they did the last clerk.

Income Efforts

I hate church people. They always expect you to let them control your entire life if they help you.

It's the same thing with my family; they expect me to work for them or pay them back.

I have been borrowing and borrowing from Pay Day loan companies and high interest finance companies so I will never get out from under them.

I have one full-time job and a part-time job that only makes me enough money to pay for the gas to go and do the work but I love it so I keep doing it as that is the only way I can afford to get out of the house.

My doctor said I was too high functioning to get SSI. I tried to get help from Vocational Rehab in 2010 but they rejected me.

I knew I was going to get fired by the boss I was working for eventually. I don't have the strength to fight for myself and I can't get others to fight for me unless I sign my soul over to them.

Specific Needs

I need help relocating to another kinder milder climate where the air is clean and temps stay between 50 and 100 degrees. I think I could keep working if I could relocate.

If not I am going to have to go on disability or just off myself, as I can't make it much longer.

I really need a low interest debt consolidation loan to pay off my Pay Day loans and high interest loans.

I need emotional support too from someone who really understands and some kindness.

My mom is mean to me and my dad is getting so old that he can't cope well with his finances either.

I want to help him, but he won't let me. He just gets overwhelmed plus he has my other sisters asking him for financial help too even though they all have husbands.

Most of his wealth is in property that barely makes him enough money to support himself and my mom, so I hate to ask them for any more.

Plus they selfishly want me close to them so they won't help me move away.

My sister the attorney has bipolar disorder and a bad back plus some emotional issues so she can't help either. In fact she keeps yanking and pulling on me to do all her work for her. I have had to tell her to stay out of my life.

I also need some intensive medical screening to see if I have some nervous disorder going on and to check out my heart as my pulse races sometimes and other times I am wakened by a jerk that feels like my heart just slammed against the left wall of my chest.

Business Idea

I need to find a job where I can work alone without a lot of people in my face. Social interaction is distressful for me and I seem to catch every flu in town due to interacting with the public.

I like accounting but jobs are few and far between here and since I am a woman and only have an Associate's Degree, I can't ever make enough money to support myself.

I need to return to school to get my Bachelor's degree. I love working on my computer but sometimes my eyes wear out on me too.

I love the part-time job I have, which is taking photos and writing property inspection reports for an insurance underwriter and mortgage loan companies, but it does not pay very well.

I need something I could work at independently without having to go through a bunch of other people to get what I need to do my job but that also has a steady reliable income, since I can't cope with financial stress.

I also need a job where my physical appearance of being overweight will not be held against me.

This war on obesity has me really stressed out and now the new health care reform is giving employers the power to pressure their employees to be thin!

Some of us were not genetically engineered to be thin.

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Feb 09, 2015
Next step... Workbook
by: Don from Ability-Mission.org

Hi Katy,

Your next step is to get the Workbook. It will show you how to use your story to get the help you seek.


Don Coggan

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