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Disabled Navy Veteran Seeks Grant Money Help To Alleviate Bipolar Disorder Effects

by Jonathan
(Schererville, Indiana, USA)

My name is Jonathan Joseph Rogers. I was born on November 4, 1986 at Cook County Hospital. I have been married for three years to the beautiful Jessica Lynn.

We were blessed this year from God with a beautiful angel. Her name is Kailynn Marie Rogers. She was born on July 15th of this year.

When I first saw her I was star struck and frozen with so many emotions that I couldn't explain. I knew that it was the beginning of a better life.

My life hasn't always been easy though and I still have every day troubles and obstacles that I have to climb over.

I come from a broken family. My mother and father were never married and never really stayed together after I was born.

When I was 3 my mother moved me away from my father to Interlachen, Florida. I was raised in a trailer park until I was 11 when my father finally got the right to see me again.

I moved back with my father and the lady that I truly consider my mother. It was an entirely different life from what I had known.

My father was a union electrician who was pretty successful. He was also an aspiring musician.

I always had trouble however fitting in with the rest of the family and always had the feeling deep down inside of being different from everyone else in my stepmother's family.

When my teenage years came around I went completely south and did everything my way and listened to nobody. I wish I knew then what I know now.

Life has been a challenge from my freshman year in high school to my senior year. I lost a total of 14 friends through all sorts of misfortunes.

My best friend Daniel passed away when he was only 16 from a brain tumor.

Four of my friends, John, Adam, Michael and Edgar died in a horrific car accident when they were chased by the police.

My friend Adam was also killed in a car accident, this one involving a semi truck.

My friend Joanna committed suicide by jumping in front of a train when she found out her mother died.

My best friend Jason was killed by a group of devil worshippers by snapping his neck and setting him on fire.

The list goes on and on but I made myself stronger through all these horrific events and I believe that I am the person I am today because of the lessons I have learned and the grief that I had to deal with at a very young age.

I was a class clown and had lots of friends but when I met a crazy girl I lost it all.

I dropped out of High School with only 3 months left and ran away from home because my parents became too strict and my father was a very hands-on type of person.

I didn't know at the time but I had just made the biggest mistake I feel that I ever would in life.

I eventually got a job working for construction and bounced around for 2 years getting nowhere in life.

One day, sick of it all, I walked into a recruiting office and decided to make my life better while defending my family and friends and people I would never meet.

I joined the Navy at 20 years old and met my wife through my A school in Meridian, Mississippi.

She changed my life for the better and made me feel like I could do anything.

We were married by my best friend Daniel's mother on June 12, 2008 at my house while we were on leave.

We lived in San Diego for 2 more years and I was stationed along with her aboard the USS Nimitz.

She got out 6 months later and waited as a stay-at-home wife while attending online college at Keiser University for a medical Assistant.

I did a total of 3 years, deploying to Iraq and Afghanistan. I was also involved in 2 WestPac deployments while aboard the USS Nimitz.

In late 2009 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2 and was sent to personnel detachment to await limited duty orders while waiting for a board to review my case and retire me.

I was officially put on the Temporary Duty Retirement List in April of 2010.

I looked for work right away and have been working at Majestic Star Casino for 1 year now in Hammond, Indiana.

In August of this year I completed my High School Diploma and registered for college at Brown Mackie. I am currently enrolled in paralegal associates program.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2 in September of 2009. My life had become so different and almost felt like a nightmare to me for a while.

There is no cure for the disorder and medicine only tames the effects and it isn't 100% either.

I still have moments or days where I am a completely different person.

I take Depakote and Lamictal for the disorder. For sleep I have been prescribed Trazodone, which I do not feel great on at all.

Side effects for my medications are weight gain and adverse attitude role adjustments. In other words it could make me worse then I already am.

Bipolar is not a very well understood disease and many people judge you and say that you are lying and you're fine. Only people that have it, or who live with someone who has it, can really be the judge of that.

It has changed my entire life. I used to care so much about so much. Now I am just a delusional paranoid freak who has trouble sleeping and spurts of energy that can last for weeks.

I have so far stayed up a total of 56 hours with no sleep in between and no caffeine.

At one point I was completely submerged in alcoholism and drink every chance I could. It was destroying my life.

I spent all my money, made dumb decisions and hurt many people who were close to me, including my wife.

My disorder is a chemical reaction that doesn't work right. I have spurts of energy, restless nights where it is impossible to sleep, anger issues, paranoia and the list goes on and on.

I am a godly person raised Roman Catholic so I look to God for help. I am temporarily retired as of now at a rating of 50% through the Veterans Affairs.

It has been a long challenging road and to be honest I don't know if it will ever end. As I mentioned earlier there is no cure.

I do however try to see it as a gift and not a curse. After all wouldn't you like to have plenty of energy to clean your house, study, exercise and stay up all night?

My brain plays tricks on me and makes me think that it is a good thing when it actually is an everyday struggle for my loved ones and me.

In today's economy it is so hard to live a good happy life. My current job pays about $1,200 after taxes and I get about $900 from the VA but that is gone before I can even think of what to spend it on.

I have a car payment, car insurance, rent that increases every year, 2 loans, a credit card bill, electricity, gas, cable, Internet cell phone and medical bills.

I just can't seem to catch up on all I owe.

On top of everything there is also my health insurance that is still costly even with TRICARE.

I basically have no money left over after every bill is paid.

My bank account is constantly overdrawn and my savings account is non-existent.

I feel so horrible that my wife has to eat a bunch of microwavable foods because I can't even afford to buy chicken or pork chops.

I myself shop at the family dollar store for everything that I eat which isn't very healthy for me but I go without so my family can have a little more to enjoy.

Thank God for WIC otherwise I don't know if I would even be able to eat after paying for my newborn's formula and food.

Life is really hard and stressful and when you add financial problems to it. Well it almost makes it unbearable.

I'm so miserable and I'm tired of living check to check just to survive.

I try to donate as much as I can without putting my family in jeopardy of starvation themselves.

Oh yeah and how can I forget the very expensive gas price of $3.80 a gallon, which is phenomenally ridiculous. That just goes to show you that the rich don't care they're making their money.

I work full time at a casino making $11.87 per hour. I am a surveillance agent and there is basically nowhere up to go. I only hold onto the job because there is nothing else that pays as high for right now.

I have been applying religiously every day after work for higher paying jobs with no luck.

I have applied for food stamps and cash assistance but was denied. I was told that I am overqualified and that I make more than enough to get by on.

I have a very well organized and strict budget plan and believe me I am just barely scraping by.

I look at the world and see all the rich people who don't care about people under them and it hurts because I never had a great life but I chose to defend them for not even a little thanks.

They just go and spend and spend and expect us to feel bad for them when they have issues such as "I wonder what I'll spend thousands or millions on today."

I have tried every outlet that I know so far to make money. Life is just too hard and that is why I don't feel that I deserve the grant but if it is available and I qualify it would do so much for me and my family and our quality of life.

At this point in my life I am not looking for any more loans to sink me further in debt.

I also feel that 50% is not enough especially for all the current conditions I am in.

Bipolar affects your entire life and ruins everything good in the world.

I thank God every day for what I do have but always wonder why am I cursed with such misfortune when all I try to do is make everyone else's lives better.

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