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Disabled Single Mother Of Five Looking For Government Disability Grants

by Kathy Iannacone
(Lancaster, PA, USA)

I am a 46-year-old disabled single mother of five looking for government disability grants or any assistance to help me get back my life. Three of my children are in their 20s and two are eight years old.

I had a very positive future planned for my twins. With better then average credit, I had comfortable savings that with some care and several more years of work would have taken care of myself and my children's future.


I was preparing to buy a home and was in fact even looking at homes in my area to purchase. I had been working in a small cleaning business that I started in 1998.

In December of 2006, on my way to work, on a quiet country road, I was hit by a school bus that tried to beat me across an intersection where she had a stop sign and rammed into the side of my car totaling it instantly.

A month or so after the accident and over the last almost four years since the accident, I have developed a condition called fibromyalgia, which I have found, most people don't even believe it exists. And if you would have asked me before this accident I probably would have agreed with you.

But I have endured so much pain some mornings I cannot even get out of bed. The fatigue so disabling, you cannot imagine. I still can't believe it sometimes and get so frustrated all I can do is cry.

I would have to leave my groceries in the store and leave if it hit while I was shopping. I can no longer take my twins out to play as we used to. If you could see their faces when they say "mom can we go out and play?" And I have to say no mom is tired today and cannot go out.

All I can do is go in my room and cry. I am so tired and pained I have all but stopped working and when I do try to do my job, I end up crying the whole way home from the pain it causes me.

I also suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and see a therapist once a week for these years to combat the severe depression that has over come my life since the accident.

I am also not able to sleep as the pain and other symptoms are worse when trying to lie down or sleep and they often keep me up all night.

The insurance that covered many of my doctors has run out. At this point, my savings are gone, my credit cards I worked my whole life to have and good credit it took me my whole life to build are all but gone. I am barely making enough to pay even the basic bills and if not for my child support would have already been penniless.

The Attorneys I have tried to hire have done little but tell me how hard my case is to prove that the accident did this to me, but there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever.

I was an extremely active person who worked hard every day and loved life and planning my future. I spent much of my time helping and doing things for others.

I was active in my children's school but since the accident, do not have the energy to do the things I used to and have become so isolated because all my energy is devoted to caring for my twins and paying what bills I can pay.

I am hoping someone out there knows where I can find help to get better, or find an attorney who still cares about protecting the future of an innocent person whose life was ruined by a senseless accident.

I'm hoping for government disability grants for struggling single mothers to find work I "can" do or financial help to keep up with the bills, or schooling if I could feel better enough to go.

I am more then willing to help myself, but the pain and fatigue are simply overwhelming, and winter is coming, which health-wise is the worst possible time for me.

I don't know where to turn, and I fear that if something doesn't change, I won't be able to keep my family together. The thought of living without my babies is something I don't think I could bear.

I am a very positive person but admit to having become very discouraged over the last three and a half years. I want and need to be able to give my children the life they deserve, or at least the life I worked all my life to be able to give them.

Can anyone help me? Any assistance, whether it's a government disability grant or even advice or words of encouragement would be so appreciated.

Comments for Disabled Single Mother Of Five Looking For Government Disability Grants

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Jul 17, 2013
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Thinking of you...
by: KM

Kathy,

You used to come into my office looking for me and I'm not even sure how your case is going anymore, but I haven't seen you in awhile. I've been hoping things have gotten better for you. Please take care. Prayers for you and your twins.

KM

Apr 02, 2012
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Finding the right attorney
by: Judith Waite Allee

Hi Kathy,
My heart goes out to you. I admire the inner strength and determination that have kept you going. I think the right attorney could make all the difference, but I know that getting one is easier said than done. When you've been burned as much as you have been, it has to be hard to think about starting over with a new one.

But if you are open to looking for a new attorney, I have a few thoughts. If you are (or used to be) involved with a church or other helping organization, maybe you could get a personal referral to a caring attorney from a pastor or someone who can vouch for the heart of the right person.

I wonder, too, if there isn't an association or cause that the right person would belong to, especially if it's a cause that you have been involved with. Overall, I'm suggesting that you network to find a friend-of-a-friend to help you. LinkedIn and Facebook might help.

Another thought is to approach your local newspaper or TV station about doing a feature story. The downside is the loss of privacy and you may not want the world to know about your family issues. If you go this direction, keep in mind that anything you say could wind up in the story. However, sometimes these human interest stories pull caring people out of the woodwork who can make a difference.

Thoughts, prayers and hugs to you!
Judith


Mar 29, 2012
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Update
by: Kathy Iannacone

Hello again everyone

It's me, the lady this post belongs to. As of October 19 2011, I thought I had lost everything I had worked for and nearing destitution, I finally began to get the conditions that held me down for so long understood and under control.

And on October 19 2011, I baked pumpkin bread for the first time in over five years. I left my home to take some to a friend and not two blocks from my home, was hit head on by a careless driver.

I was in the hospital for over two months, suffering a crushed and lacerated liver and pancreas. Pancreatic drains finally came out a few weeks ago, but I have an EPF, which is an external pancreatic fistula. Plainly, the track the # 2 drain tube made (started out with five) has not closed, but I'm staying hopeful there will God willing be no more hospital stays as there have been several after the initial two-month stay.

I lost my gallbladder and spleen, shattered my right ankle, but I'm out of the wheelchair and almost done with the walker. I lost the tip of my right pointer finger, and a host of other minor problems. I lost my 10-year-old twins to my ex who got custody because I could not make the hearings. And I'm not even gonna touch the financial situation. Looking back, I cannot believe a person could take so much pain and live.

Many times I wished God would have taken me home.

But he didn't.

From December 14, when I came home, my older daughter and her sister (who God bless them had drug problems), began mentally, verbally and physically abusing me to put me back in the hospital so they could keep my apartment.

They denied me food, took my pain meds and money and sold everything I owned. I managed to crawl to the court house somehow and file a protection from abuse to have them removed.

Since then, I've been here alone, with very little help. My beloved chihuahua has been by my side and many nights the sheer hopelessness almost overcame me. But day by day, I'm a little better and where my life is to go from here, I have no clue yet.

I can't work, and I have had no emotional help. I've not seen or spoken to my children since before Christmas. I've had to deal with another crappy lawyer being totally dishonest about what we agreed upon.

But I ran across this site and felt I needed to thank once again, the people who gave me that first "hope" and pray others will inspire me now to come back to life. Thank you all. My love is with you. As I feel yours with me.

Oct 23, 2009
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To a Special Person
by: KATHY IANNACONE

I would like to thank Paul Galik for his comments to me and tell him that I am praying for him too. And if there's anything I can do, (which is funny as most of us cant do anything but sure wish we could) please feel free to contact me through comments here. This also goes for anyone who needs a prayer or a friend. Sometimes and especially in my case, a friend who prays for you is all you have.

Oct 23, 2009
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An Update From Kathy
by: Kathy Iannacone

Well, I finally got in the fibromyalgia clinic because they had a $100 special and got my consultation. He knew more about me then I did and I bawled my eyes out because I have spent the last almost four years, being told I was crazy by every doctor I had seen. I was supposed to get the supplements to start until my blood work and follow up appointment, but after paying for the appointment could not afford them. The follow up appointment is $500 so I don't expect to be going back any time soon, but the hope I felt at the first consultation was nice for a few moments, thinking I might really get well. My attorney, oh please do we have to go there? It's clear he doesn't believe in fibromyalgia or me and I am sick of him telling me that he's convinced there is more going on then just fibromyalgia, meaning I have other emotional problems or am crazy I suppose due to the fact I cannot talk about this situation without bawling. I'm so angry at him and want to find another attorney but am so tired from trying to keep the bills paid and life in general, I'm beginning to wonder if there is any point to even trying. It seems that everyone and everything is against us with this condition and like my overly positive attorney says, it will be 20 or 30 years before judges and the like believe in what I have and allow the type of settlements that would make it possible for people to return to the life they themselves worked for before someone destroyed their lives by making a stupid unsafe choice. So I guess we are the pioneers. Noble as that sounds, I'm sure that throughout history, it sucked. I know it does for me. I think among the pioneers, we remember the ones who actually get the changes made, but what about the millions who didn't and were the pile of stones the others used to climb up on to actually make it happen? I'm still praying for something to change but doubtful as anyone knows if you want your life to change, it is you who must change it, and most of us cannot, just too tired, and beginning to hope for the only peace it seems we have the right to hope for. God Bless all of us, and you all take care. I will pray for a miracle for everyone here and all over.

Sep 19, 2009
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Your Appreciation Is Much Appreciated :)
by: Don from Ability-Mission.org

Kathy, your comments mean a lot to us here at Ability-Mission.org. When I started this site over 10 years ago, it had a different, but still helpful, purpose.

In the last two years, we saw a huge increase in visitors with disabilities, the very people we used to create acccessible sites for.

I wondered what we could do to REALLY help. It IS possible to get grants, but the process isn't that easy. And there are so many exaggerated claims being made, we thought one of the ways we could be helpful was to present honest information, which we have. But the individual is still faced with the tough job of applying for a grant.

It was only recently that someone suggested that we get people to share their stories so more people could hear about them. This increases the chances of getting help, even if it's nothing more than kind words from a stranger, letting you know you're not alone. The interest has been overwhelming. And we're starting to see results.

There are generous, thoughtful people out there who have already given concrete actionable tips for others to follow. We'll be compiling them in due course, to make them more readily available to others.

Above all, your feedback offers encouragement to us here at Ability-Mission.org to continue what we've started. It's not obvious to folks who read all the stories, but every single submission is painstakingly read, corrected and polished before it's posted. It takes time and energy for sure to do that, but you know what? The stories, as heartbreaking as most of them are, inspire us in ways we never thought existed.

So, our heartfelt thanks go out to you, in fact to all of you, who have made the effort to contribute your stories!


Sep 19, 2009
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Thank you Ability-Mission.org
by: Kathy Iannacone

I just left a comment thanking the people leaving those kind supportive comments after my story, but I forgot to thank the people who made my story being heard possible.

Thank you guys for helping people like me who have no one and without you would never have their story heard by anyone and would just have to be alone with their tragic circumstances without even an understanding ear to listen. You're a blessing and I want to thank you for what you have done for me and others, God Bless you too. :-)

Sep 19, 2009
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Thank You All
by: Kathy Iannacone

This morning and for several days before, I was wondering if my story was even reviewed or posted up on this site, but looking through the other stories and reading them, I actually found my story and read the comments left by people and am still crying as I write this.

I want to thank you wonderful thoughtful people for the kind words you have left me. It has been so hard watching my future go down the drain, but the thought that people I don't even know showing care for my problems, has given me so much.

My heart that was so full of tears and ready to be done with this life, has been awakened to the fact that there are really people who care out there, care about other people's pain and heartaches.

I have felt so very alone, for so very long, but to know that even one person cares, has made so much difference. Thank you all again, for wrapping a blanket of comfort around me and giving me the hope that I will find the help I need and have already, because of you kind people, found the inspiration to go on and fight to be the happy hard-working person I used to be, and even hope that I will be able to once again make a future for my family and that my life ISN'T over. God bless you all for all your kindness.

Sep 09, 2009
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God Bless You
by: Sharon Kaye

I read your letter and I just want you to know that I am very understanding of your situation. I hope you will get the grants that you are seeking. My prayers are with you. Do you think this accessible site really helps to obtain disability grants or does it just reach people like us who are in need?

Sep 09, 2009
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You're not alone with the ways you hurt!
by: Paul Galik

Never give up! I have been through the phases you are going through. All I wanted was to stay in my room and cry due to the pain I go through every second of the day and night.

With all the meds I'm on I still feel the pain but I thank GOD for every blessing he has given to me. My most comfortable position is laying down. But it's time to take back your life. Get a cot and go outside with the children. Put your pain in Gods hands and ask him for some relief. Never lose faith in GOD nor yourself.

I have no money at all and live from check to check and it doesn't cover my basic bills. But, I have come to realize that there are people in worse condition than I am in. And I pray for them as well as everyone who is here, gone from here and those who will be here.

Keep stretching just to where you feel the pain at its worst and hold it for 10-30 seconds as long as you want or need to. Do this 2-7 days a week to keep yourself from locking up or get worse.

We as people have no Idea what pain and humiliation is. Only JESUS does. So put you faith, love, problems, and your family in his hands. Wake up in the morning and THANK GOD for all you see and for letting you live another day and kick the devil and the pain back to hell then watch what happens.

I know I will only get worse as the days and years go by. Just one of my medicines alone is $800. I have to borrow and adjust my bills I pay out of pocket because it's not covered on the insurance plan I'm on.

Need any advice about attorneys? Go to the disabled site for people with no money and you can maybe find what you're looking for.

Let me know anytime if I can help. Hope you feel better. Go outside with your children and see how happy they will be! Accept GOD fully and with your whole heart in your life.

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