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Epilepsy Disabled Single Father Seeks Grant Money For Independence

by William Spearrin, Jr.
(Auburn, ME, USA)

My personal situation is that I have 2-10 temporal lobe epileptic seizures a day, which affect every aspect of my every day life.

There have been years when I was seizure free and got to drive for four years. There were times when I had 300 seizures a day and couldn't leave my house.

I can't drive obviously so I have to pay somebody to give me a ride everywhere I go, or have somebody accompany me wherever I go so that I am safe (and/or get medical attention) in the event of a seizure in public. That is my transportation life issue.

Also as a result of a lack of independence I suffer from newfound mental issues at the age of 31. I can't cope with several things about my life that I would like to change, and I guess that is what I am working on with this.

I would like to give my son the childhood that I had, but I had two working parents my entire childhood, and my son only has me when he is here, and I can't do much for him.

Basically I wish I could be a better parent than I can afford to be working with what I make on disability, and it is starting to affect me mentally.

That is aggravated by the fact that I need company when I have my son sometimes if it is a "bad weekend" with active aura activity or seizure activity, whichever.

On that same note I am also unable to provide for a family like I would like to be able to. I would love to be the workingman for a family.

I'd love to have a housewife if I could find such a woman, but I am doomed to be the housewife for as long as I can see into the future.

So I can't drive, and I can't be a proper male authority figure for my son. It stinks, and I do as well as I can. I truly come unglued sometimes though.

I hurt everywhere all the time from top to bottom, but don't take painkillers to avoid addiction. I'm at the end of my line and need help with something somehow.

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Aug 21, 2016
Bill's seizures
by: Bill's dad

Bill now uses medical marijuana and it has changed his life. He still has seizures here and there, but not many at all. He remains standing.

God bless you all and thank you for any prayers.

Bill Sr., Bill's dad

May 04, 2015
More update
by: Bills dad

I spent the day with Bill today. He had two debilitating seizures today. He is back to daily seizures. I love him dearly and ask everyone to say a prayer for him. He is a good man stuck in very bad circumstances. He could really use a break. You can contact me through yahoo. I am fxdlnow

Feb 15, 2014
by: crystal gray

Get a hold of me Bill. It's your ex-wife. I just wanna see how you're doing.

Jul 18, 2012
We're watching...
by: Don from Accessible.org

Hey Bill,

Thanks for the updates. Glad to see things are looking up for you.

Don from Accessible.org.

Jul 18, 2012
Life is getting better
by: Bill

This is Bill again. If anyone followed this, thank you for paying attention and caring enough to read on.

Whole story in short:

The Probe EEG (they drill holes and put metal rods into your brain) caused me some kind of Impulse control disorder. If anyone pissed me off a tiny bit, I'd flip off the hook like they punched my mom or something. It made me psychotic to the degree that I was slapping my son around like some little kid that I didn't even care about.

Then I had a Right Anterior Temporal Lobectomy. I got worse before I got better, and in some kind of rage spanked my son until his whole backside was covered in bruises.

I underwent a Felony trial for 2 class C Felonies this last January, exactly a year after the incident with my son.

The District Attorney allowed me Deferred Disposition though, since I had already been going to counseling for a year, gone through an Intensive Therapy Program, and quit doing drugs.

Now, for the next God knows how long, I get to spend about six hours a week with my son as long as my mother supervises the visits. Or my father or my son's mother. It is way better than nothing, and I am grateful for what I am getting, and that I am not in a prison.

My parents have been my pillars of strength, and my son has been my inspiration.

I'm still going to weekly counseling sessions and remain drug free. I have taken a couple of parenting courses, and plan to continue taking them until I've taken all of them that there are to take.

I also now go to a weekly group session of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). That is a one-year program.

I still collect disability, but I am working to get working, as now I have a seizure maybe once every other month or so.

I'm glad I had my surgeries, even though catastrophe struck, but sometimes that's what it takes to bring positive change into a person's life.

I'm back to the old me, and except for the fact that I hurt my son, I wouldn't change a thing I've been through. Trials (literal and metaphorical) have strengthened my character and made me into a man I can be proud of.

I can't financially do too much for my son yet, but someday I'll get off this damned disability and get a job and hopefully get a license again, and achieve my goals.

Apr 05, 2011
Bill's seizures have stopped...
by: Anonymous

He is still almost seizure free. It's been weeks. I feel that his surgery was mostly successful in that most of the seizures are gone. He still has one once in a while, but if it stays status quo he should be able to drive in a few months. Thanks to all who helped him and supported his cause.

Oct 27, 2010
Doing better!
by: Anonymous

3 weeks seizure free... DOING GOOD!

Aug 23, 2010
More info on Bill
by: Anonymous

His surgery and the aftermath were unreal. His seizures are still with him for now, hopefully leaving forever soon. He is a very good man.

Jul 23, 2010
by: Anonymous

I am Biil's father... Bill had brain surgery last week in an attempt to remove the seizure focun in his brain. Maybe now he can finally live a normal life....

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