Header for Ability Mission

Mom With Very Rare Disability To Get Back On Her Feet With Grant Funds

by Jacqueline Starr
(Lake Oswego, OR, USA)

I grew up in a family that looked good on the surface, but there was a person in the family that was abusive to the other family members.

My mother was married to a man and had two children before she met my dad. She left her family in California and moved to Oklahoma where she met him. She told him she had never been married.

My real mother died when I was a baby. I survived my new mother's emotional and physical abuse. I forgave her.

I went to college and majored in psychology. A professor convinced me to go through counseling for childhood abuse. I told my dad about the therapy. He was angry because this happened in his home while he was working to make a living for the family.

I got married after college and had two daughters. I vowed they would never be abused. I worked hard and sometimes worked two jobs.

I have always been a loyal person to my family and friends. I looked the other way when my mother was unkind. I was the good daughter and good mother who wanted the best for my family, but forgot about myself.

My husband went on a sailing trip and decided to live on his boat. I became the single provider for my family. I put my children through college. I put them through law school. I had always wanted to go to law school, but never had the money or the time.

I lost my best friend when my dad died a few years ago. I loved and trusted him. I had forgiven my mother long ago. She asked me to leave my home 1,500 miles away and move to help her after my dad died. I left everything and went to help her. I always had hope that she would change and become a nicer person. She didn't.

I decided to continue to help her anyway. I did everything she asked.

I had given my teacher's retirement money to my dad to invest and draw interest on the account. The account was missing when I went to the bank. I asked my mom what happened to my accounts. She said she didn't have to answer any questions or abide by my dad's will.

She called the police and told them that I was going to harm her and insisted that they remove me from the family home. She told them that I had a gun and planned to shoot her. I have never owned a gun in my life.

The police searched the house, my car, and me for weapons. They found nothing after searching and said, "Leave now and you will get your property later." I left everything, including my wallet.

My dad had added my name to the house years ago. I went to the courthouse to ask about the house and other properties in my name. She had forged my signature on all my accounts and on the house.

She got a false protective order against me. I was 1,500 miles from my home and I was now homeless.

Disability Issues

I was born with bilateral cervical ribs. They are hereditary and very rare. The only research on cervical ribs is being done in London.

I have two extra ribs behind my collar bones. I have always had unusual symptoms that doctors couldn't explain. I was diagnosed with asthma, allergies, panic attacks, and many other physical disorders.

My collar bone was broken when I was five. I had trouble breathing after this and passed out often. My dad took me to the emergency room on a regular basis. I continued to have problems, but the problems bothered my mother.

I was a pretty tough little kid and hid as many problems as possible. I found out years later after a semi-truck hit my company car that I had bilateral cervical ribs. The surgeon refused to do surgery on my neck injury because of the cervical ribs.

I endured extreme pain and kept working. I kept passing out and the company had to put me on extended leave. I often had no pulse in my left arm. I had pain and the doctors kept giving me pain medication, but I couldn't take the medication and function normally. I stopped taking the medication.

I was given steroids for two years, but my health didn't improve. I endured more pain.

I met a man who offered his help and asked me to marry him. I said yes. Two years later, he was still too busy to get married. He had a temper and became physically abusive.

I told this man I didn't want to be a victim and had decided to move out of state. He threw me through the front door of my house and I hit a wall with my entire body. I was on the floor and couldn't move. He took my cell phone and left me there.

I had such severe pain in my right leg that I couldn't walk. I was alone and unable to get help. When I was able to get to the car and drive to get help, I had already lost feeling in my leg and hands. I couldn't move my neck at all.

I had several aneurysms, blood clots in my leg, and muscle atrophy in my leg. The left cervical rib had pushed into my subclavian artery. I am blessed to be alive.

I have thoracic outlet syndrome, numbness in my hands and legs, Raynaud's disorder, cervical rib disorder, and neurological disorders. I have lost 25% of the muscle in my right leg. I have lost most of the use of both hands. I am alone.

Financial Hardship

I am alone and have no family to help me. My mother has convinced my adult children that I don't need help. She gives them money and they don't bother to call to see if I am surviving.

They know me to be a good mother and a good person. However, sometimes the person with the money can rule the hearts of family members. I hope this will change someday.

My car was destroyed, so I have no transportation now. My rent and bills are more than I get per month on disability. I often don't have food. I lived without any heat this winter. I have no refrigerator for cold food.

I can't go to a doctor because I don't have health insurance. I suffered severe trauma and I was physically and emotionally abused by my ex-fiancé. I am now alone.

Income Efforts

I tried to get help from the state for health insurance. I contacted every phone number I have been given by the state and other agencies. I have received no help.

I go to church and have been a volunteer in the past, but I have no way to get to church now. I have hit a dead end with every attempt to get help.

When I was being abused by my fiancé, I was told to "stash cash" and leave by domestic violence groups. I have called and been refused help.

Even the shelters didn't have any space available when I was being abused physically. He became more abusive when he found out I was disabled. The police finally made him leave my house. I am alone and have no transportation.

Specific Needs

I am seeking any type of help to get back on my feet financially. I have always been able to work until now.

I would love to get a grant for housing. My rent is too high and I can't afford to move. I need money to buy a vehicle. I need money to pay bills. I need help with medical bills.

Business Idea

I would like to help people in similar situations as my own. I have a degree and would like be certified to do some Christian counseling.

Comments for Mom With Very Rare Disability To Get Back On Her Feet With Grant Funds

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 03, 2014
Cervical ribs too
by: Trixie

Just came across your post. I too have been disabled by bilateral cervical ribs causing severe TOS. I had surgery on my right side a year ago but pain is worse than before.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to US Oregon.